TALK TO REVIVE LOVE

Every relationship goes through its fair share of ups and downs. These are testing times not only for the couple, but also for those around them. From being bitter to each other to trying to compromise, couples are often seen struggling a lot in their relationships. But, what happens if you fall out of love with the person. Or, what if you are having second thoughts about your partner? Experts say that most couples do go through a commitment-phobic phase and one has to deal with it sensibly. If a person in a relationship finds it difficult to stay committed, then he or she must try to find out why it is happening. According to Dr Alpes Panchal, psychiatrist, one should address such issues at the earliest. He says, “Pushing things under the rug will only worsen the problem in the future. Either one loses interest in a relationship or want to come out of it. It’s important to communicate to your partner after some introspection, so that the two of you can work on it together.” Continuing in a relationship that you are not interested in will only make things difficult and bring out the worse in you. Dr Salma Prabhu, clinical psychologist, feels that one should face the realities. “It (continuing your relationship without addressing issues that are disturbing you) will do more harm than good. An honest reality check and facing the facts would be a better approach. After it, use your communication skills to find out if you really need help. This would be your first step,” she says.

DEALING WITH COMMITMENT PHOBIA

Commitment phobia is also something that many people have to deal with, especially the millennials. At times, there is a lingering thought that there could be someone better out there. Panchal says that the only way to get over commitment phobia is to actually make commitments in other aspects of life. He says, “One can start with smaller things, such as a job, pets, etc, that require a longer commitment. Other than that one also has to communicate about the phobia with the partner, or else he or she may get the wrong picture. Maybe the partner can help with trust issues. If these things don’t work, one must consult a mental health professional, because trust is the thing on which everything hinges.” Experts say that many relationships break because a person had commitment issues in the childhood or is insecure, in general. Prabhu says that one should tell the self that this is an “inherent aspect is an escape mechanism”. She says, “Accepting and taking help to deal and overcome this problem is the perfect mechanism. Commitment phobia stems from many aspects; the most common among them is seeing their own parents or close family members’ bad relationships. Today, there are support groups, group therapies, online counselling, etc — seek help and overcome your problem.”

A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Communication is a must in any relationship; more so, if the couple is facing issues. Panchal says that this is the most important thing for a healthy relationship. He says, “Whatever it is, if the couple can talk about it rationally, he or she will probably get through anything. It’s important to have the ‘me’ time in a relationship. Couples who want to maintain a healthy relationship need trust, space and good healthy sex. If you look at our ancestors, they had it all, which led to unconditional and everlasting love and commitment.”

PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK/USED FOR REPRESENTATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY