Know anyone who has ever successfully dated a yo-yo?

I’m married, and I regularly meet a widow of my mother’s age, for professional reasons. Since our first meetings, she has been praising my professionalism, which has turned into personal admiration. I respect her as a person. How can I make her understand that she makes me uncomfortable? — A Gentleman

When the Native American leader, Brare With A New Face, wanted to warn his people about the advancing US enemy forces, he wrote the warnings on trees. Unfortunately, as most of the tribe didn’t know how to read, and because the trees were facing the wrong way, it was to no avail, and a slaughter followed. My advice to you, A Gentleman, is the same. Write a small note (e-mail or WhatsApp is just fine; use a tree only as a last resort), respectfully telling her how awkward you feel. Also don’t forget to mention your love for trees. Nothing hits home better than the written word.

For a month now, I’ve been in love with a girl I interact with on FB. I don’t know if she’s a real person or a fake one. But, I don’t want to lose her. Please help. —AR

I agree, why lose her? Or him? Or them? Or the guy from prison who is serving a life term for murder, but works in the prison library, and so has access to a computer? Social media makes romance ever more romantic. The mystery, the endless possibilities, the chance that you are interacting with a complete psychopath, all make the lure, the quest, even more powerful. But — and this is only a suggestion, so please don’t force yourself — why don’t you set up one actual in-the-flesh meeting? Just to see if your imagination matches the reality?

After I proposed to the girl I love, she said she was committed. After a month, she said she had lied, because one of our mutual friends liked her and she didn’t want to hurt him. Six months later, she asked me if I still had feelings for her; I said yes. A month later, she said she had been committed for three years. You think she ever loved me? —Piyush

Piyush, it looks like your girl is a career politician. For her, words are like underwear. Replaced quickly and at any cost. Please understand I’m not asking you to communicate via underwear, so don’t get excited. She has gone left right then right left, just like a yo-yo.

And be honest, and tell me, do you know a single person who has ever successfully dated a yo-yo? A ceiling fan maybe; a vacuum cleaner possibly; but a yo-yo? It doesn’t matter if she loved you. Just say the words that best rhyme with yo-yo, to her. No-No! No-No!

I like a friend from my class. We like each other’s company. But, now, she wants to end our friendship because she thinks the closer we get, the more hurt we’ll be. What do I do? —NS

Such comments have to be categorised by a word that begins with ‘Bull’ and end with ‘...it’.

How wise is this girl, to suggest terminating contact to avoid pain? What does she think you are — a jelly fish? Generally, people do this because they want out and don’t want to appear to be the bad guy or girl. Why don’t you retaliate by telling her you want to conquer pain, by experiencing it. Then take her to a beach, and show her a jelly fish.

But, do you really want to pursue someone who is trying to run away?