Hindustan Times (Lucknow) - Hindustan Times (Lucknow) - Live
Ending a relationship the right way, sans spite and nastiness
Going through a breakup can be mentally and emotionally painful as well as physically exhausting. While getting upset and saying nasty things may seem like the natural approach, it pays off in the long run to go about it in a tactful manner and not cause life-long rifts, say experts.
During the break-up phase, you are likely to feel anxious, go through crying spells, have problems sleeping, eat unhealthy foods, experience social withdrawal, and have low self-esteem.
“Research has shown that the brain areas that get affected after a painful breakup are similar to the ones that cause actual physical pain,” says Dr Sapna Bangar, Head-Client Care (Psychiatrist), Mpower.
The period when you are getting over a breakup is also characterised by indecisiveness, anger, anxiety, and loneliness. “Our brain reads rejection like physical pain, which weakens our immune system. Stress affects our metabolism rate, which leads to poor digestion and weight gain. Sometimes, people tend to shut down their emotions and corner themselves,” says Naavnidhi K Wadhwa, coach for Psychology of Eating, diet planning and NLP expert.
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES
No two breakups are the same. There could be different ways to break up, different factors behind it. Even the recovery process is not uniform for both partners. But it’s best to be sensitive and truthful with your partner. “Try not to be negative about either the person or the relationship. Choose a time and place, talk about what both of you gained from the relationship and try not to blame anyone for the breakup,” advises Dr Bangar.
Discuss the issue face to face. Focus on the good aspects of the relationship, and be realistic about the reasons behind ending it.
Start by pointing out the positive traits like how you value your partner’s opinion or how they made you a better person. “Ask and listen to your partner’s reason. Be patient and support your partner if they act upset or unhappy,” says Wadhwa.
HEALING TAKES TIME
Engaging in different activities and keeping busy will help avoid reminiscing about your partner, and may speed up the recovery process. “Take a break. Spend time with friends and family who love and value you. Try meditation, indulge in leisure activities, or practise sports to cope with the situation,” suggests Wadhwa.