Gender does play a role in approaches, processes...

I have realized that when I am negotiating for myself I don’t do very well though I seem to do better when negotiating for others. A male colleague who works in my group itself seems to do well for himself in those negotiations. Is this a gender thing? Are men and women different when it comes to negotiations?

- Kavita P

Research in Negotiation has suggested that gender plays a role in the approaches, processes as well as consequences of negotiations. While men seem to have an advantage as the “dominant cultural stereotype”, Stereotypes about women may influence the expectations and behaviours of men and women during the negotiation. Women are usually expected to be “nicer” than men, and as such, gender triggers may cause women to check their behaviour more often. Another theory suggested that while people negotiate over issues, they also negotiate how they relate to one another. During the process of trying to persuade the other party, each negotiator makes assumptions about the other’s wants, weakness, and likely behaviour. Since relationships play a larger role in women’s lives than in men’s, it makes sense that women’s attitudes toward negotiation will be more focused on the relationship. Thus, in integrative negotiations, women do better than men since more cooperative behaviour is required. Conversely, men do better in distributive negotiation, which requires competitive behaviour that is associated with a masculine negotiation style. Research has also pointed at a number of important factors that affect how men and women approach negotiations. These include the following.

Relational view of others:

women are more likely to see negotiations as part of the larger picture and be aware of all the relationships involved, as opposed to focusing only on the issues being discussed.

Embedded view of agency: Women tend not to draw strict lines between negotiation and other behaviours in a relationship, considering it a part of the whole. Men, unlike this, demarcate more strongly. Due to this, women may often not be aware that negotiation is occurring in the context, to their disadvantage.

Beliefs around ability and worth:

As is true of so many other areas, one’s perception around self-worth and belief that one must be paid a certain amount work their way into negotiations. Women, especially, tend to see their worth based on what they are paid, while men tend to expect to be paid more.

Problem solving through dialogue: While women usually seek to be more collaborative and open dialogue looking for joint exploration, men usually use it to win the negotiation and persuade the other party for their gain. This sort of dialogue is observed as being used since childhood.

Control through empowerment:

Women and men see and use power in different ways. The former seek empowerment where there is “interaction among all parties in the relationship to build connection and enhance everyone’s power”. Men usually use power to achieve their own goals or to make the other party give in to their side of the bargain.

Perceptions and stereotyping: There is strong evidence that men and women are treated differently in negotiation when they engage in the same behaviour, as well as the fact that women’s behaviour strongly shapes how men and women approach a negotiation. The stereotype effect can occur: a type of performance anxiety that leads to certain groups, like women or minorities, to fear that their performance would confirm negative stereotypes.

When negotiating for others:

When negotiating for others, women advocate with far more vigour and much more efficiently than for themselves. This difference is not seen in case of male negotiators. Thus. Women do better as agents than as principals. Therefore, men excel in uncertain, competitive environments, whereas women are classic negotiators when the beneficiary is someone other than herself.

Have any questions about life, management, philosophy, education, literature, yoga, mountaineering in India, or psychological issues or all of these? Ask Himanshu Rai. He is the Director at IIM Indore, an author, mountaineer, yoga enthusiast and a Sanskrit scholar. Mail at askhimanshu@htlive.com

Disclaimer: The responses in this column given by me are based on my learnings and experience. They should, by no means, be taken as a substitute for medical/ professional help.