IT IS A TALE TOLD BY AN IDIOT, FULL OF SOUND AND FURY
(Washington Post, 20 April: Indians, not Brits, are Shakespeare’s biggest fans, survey finds)
Since 89% of the Indians polled by the British Council survey said they liked Shakespeare, an unreliable source reported this conversation at an alleged all-party dinner held yesterday to commemorate Shakespeare’s birthday and the 400th anniversary of his death:
MODI: I must to the barber’s, monsieur; for methinks, I am marvellous hairy about the face.
AMIT SHAH: Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.
RAJNATH SINGH: Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?
ADVANI: Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts; and what he has scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.
RAHUL GANDHI: Why, but there’s many a man hath more hair than wit.
AMIT SHAH: He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man.
JAYALALITHAA: There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
MODI: Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety.
JAYALALITHAA: There’s daggers in men’s smiles.
CHIDAMBARAM: A man cannot make him laugh — but that’s no marvel; he drinks no wine.
MAMATA BANERJEE: Make the doors upon a woman’s wit and it will out at the casement; shut that and ‘twill out at the key-hole; stop that, ‘twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney.
MULAYAM SINGH: Though she be but little, she is fierce.
KARUNANIDHI: Frailty thy name is woman!
MANMOHAN SINGH: How every fool can play upon a word! I think the best grace of wit will shortly turn into silence; and discourse grow commendable in none only but parrots.
SMRITI IRANI: Educated men are so impressive! VENKAIAH NAIDU: What time o’ day? CHIDAMBARAM: The hour that fools should ask.
SONIA GANDHI: The time is out of joint.
SHARAD PAWAR: Things sweet to taste prove in digestion sour.
LALU PRASAD: Unquiet meals make ill digestions.
SHASHI THAROOR: I would give all my fame for a pot of ale.
MODI: Drink sir, is a great provoker of three things…. nose painting, sleep and urine.
ARVIND KEJRIWAL: Dost thou think because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
RAHUL GANDHI: Good wine is a good familiar creature, if it be well used.
VENKAIAH NAIDU: More of your conversation would infect my brain.
MAMATA BANERJEE: You speak an infinite deal of nothing.
SITARAM YECHURY: The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
ARUN JAITLEY: This is very midsummer madness.
NITISH KUMAR: Though this be madness, yet there is method in it.
SUSHMA SWARAJ: I will make an end of my dinner; there’s pippins and cheese to come. MAYAWATI: All’s well that ends well. MANOHAR LAL KHATTAR: But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
MAYAWATI: ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. MANOHAR LAL KHATTAR: BUT, FOR MY OWN PART, IT WAS GREEK TO ME