Career dilemmas: Choose a career at an early stage and then hone it

I am a Science student and studying in 11th class. I am interested in Criminal Psychology but my parents want me to pursue a more job oriented course in which I can get a job after graduation. I don’t want to do Medicine or Engineering. What should I do? Please suggest.

A. Education is the best gift a parent can give to his/her child. However, some parents face the dilemma of choosing the final decision. To be successful, one must figure out the career that will be best for their child.

The process of choosing a career begins at an early stage of a person’s life and then it grows until the secondary school stage when a child decides whether to enroll in a science, arts or commercial class. As kids, we all dreamt of being doctors, teachers, lawyers, engineers and other pro- fessions but had those dreams shattered along the line due to parental influence. However, some argue that a child should follow his or her dreams and not do what his or her parents say.

It’s all right if you are not interested in MBBS, you can think of other science related options i.e. BDS, BAMS, BHEMS, BUMS etc. You can also think of pursuing B. Sc (Home Science), taking up psychology, where you can specialize in crime psychology that may help you to achieve the aim of doing forensic sciences.

You may focus upon exploring your strengths and weaknesses and enhancing your skills like compatibility, expectations, effective communication which will contribute to enhancement in academic performance and will drive you closer to your goals in life.

I am a student of 12th Standard. My father wants me to take science in the next class and become a doctor or an engineer. It is his dream to see me as a doctor. But I just don’t wish to take science. I aim to be an architect or fashion designer. How do I convince my parents?

A. Well, it’s good to see that you respect your parent’s sentiments. But, it is important for you to understand that if you are not interested in the science field, you must not opt for it.

There are cases where parents completely live in their children’s dreams and forget the essence of reality. Sometimes parents forge their failed dreams or goals in the impressionable minds of their children. The father who wanted to be a doctor wants his son to be a doctor and the mother who wanted to be an actress wants her daughter to be a super model. Thus parents, deliberately or sub-consciously, remould thoughts.

Try to convince him that now-a-days, there is a very bright future in vocational and artistic fields. One need not be a doctor or an engineer to be successful in life. You can also opt for a professional career counseling and aptitude testing advice which can prove to be effective in convincing your father. Most important thing here to understand is that your interest in the field is very crucial. Do not surrender to parental pressure and try to convince them peacefully.

I’m in class 12, going through a traumatic breakup of my relationship and unable to concentrate on where my career is heading. .I feel low on confidence. How do I recover?

Relationships are like a roller coaster ride, there are ups and downs. It’s quite understandable that you are feeling low but it is important not to lose track of other aspects of your life. Get your priorities in order. You need to remember that while relationships are important, it should not take over your entire life. Your family, studies and friends should also be your priority. Join a gym, spend time with your friends and meet new people. Keep yourself busy and you will find your focus and confidence returning.

The author is a senior psychiatrist and in charge, Institute of Life Skills and Mental Health promotion, Moolchand Med City, New Delhi.