‘Cousin’s inappropriate touch made my vacation a horror’

LUCKNOW: Summer vacations are always a much needed break. And as usual, I decided to join my cousins at my aunt’s place in Delhi. Just a 14 year-old girl then, I stuffed all my belongings in my favourite rucksack and left for Delhi.

The day when I was leaving for Delhi is still etched in my memory. “I was getting irritated when my father, who is a little more caring than my mother, was asking me again and again to stay back and plan something in Lucknow. But I responded with weird expressions. I wish I had listened to my father.”

My father, who was still in no mood to let me go, came to drop me at the railway station. I grabbed the aisle berth in Shatabdi and left for Delhi, expecting to have a wonderful vacation.

But I never had an idea what lay in store.

In the next six hours I was in Delhi. My cousin who is a little older than me came to pick me up at the station and we left for my aunt’s place. “On our way to my aunt’s place in Mayur Vihar, I noticed something weird – the behaviour of my cousin was different. It was not as it used to be in previous years. But I preferred to ignore.”

Once we reached home, things were as usual. I was given a grand welcome, my favourite dishes were on the table and aunt was ready with a long list of plans. I enjoyed the first day, after having a delicious dinner and watching a couple of movies with my cousin. Later, I went to the guest room that my aunt got readied especially for me.

The second day too went fine – until the evening when I again noticed my cousin behaving in a weird manner. I also noticed some inappropriate touch, which I ignored.

But I never thought that my ignorance would be taken as a sign of consent.

With many questions in mind, I went to bed and was asleep soon. But I woke up to strange touches in the middle of the night – it was my cousin who was touching me inappropriately. I was too young to realise what I was undergoing. All I knew that it was wrong. I could not even resist as I did not know what it was.

It turned out to be the longest night of my life.

I wanted to speak to my aunt about it but couldn’t muster enough courage to do so. My cousin’s behavior became a routine affair and continued for almost a week until I left for Lucknow.

On reaching home, I narrated the ordeal to my mother. But to my surprise, my mother from whom I was expecting some support, asked me to keep quiet. Strangely, I was forced to behave normally with my cousin during family functions.

A few days later another incident shook me. I caught my teenaged servant peeping into my bathroom. I reported the matter to my mother. But this time she reacted fiercely and informed my father. After being beaten black and blue, he was fired.

I was still not at peace, one question was boggling my mind – why did my parents not speak up when a family member was involved in sexual abuse?

I am married and a mother of two now. But I am yet to come out of the trauma I underwent in the past. I speak to my children, discuss the issue of child sexual abuse with them, as I don’t want them to come across such a situation ever in life.