HOW TO TALK TO KIDS ABOUT SEX

Ideally, a parent should begin discussing sexuality when a child is old enough to understand the message, or when they first begin spending time away from you. This may be when they start playschool or even when you return to work or begin to entrust them to nannies or relatives for part of the day. Here’s a rough timeline that counsellors agree is suitable for most kids, male and female

2-5 YEARS:

Discuss “good touch” and “bad touch”. Your child should know that some people can touch them in some ways, but not others; that all undressing should serve a purpose. 5-8 YEARS: Discuss ideas of privacy, the physiological differences between boys and girls. Talk about puberty so they are prepared for pubertal development in a few years. If the child watches wildlife shows or has older friends, discuss sexual intercourse and how babies are born.

9-12 YEARS:

Discuss intercourse, pregnancy, safe sex and contraception. By now they must have all their queries about sexual reproduction answered. Discuss what makes a relationship healthy (sharing, love, trust, honesty, versus emotional outbursts, violence and other forms of abuse). Point out if sex and sexuality are depicted unrealistically in popular media, including in video games.

13-18 YEARS:

Be non-judgmental and encourage them to come to you for information and advice.