‘Writing about your personal life is therapeutic’

The actor and author draws from her own experience of bringing her daughter Sappho into the world to present a humorous and enlightening account of embracing motherhood

1What was the impetus behind writing this book?

I’ve always written for myself; it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. But this one is definitely the longest project I’ve undertaken. Pregnancy is such a life-transforming time; there’s so much that happens to women that’s just not talked about enough.

Only a few people had mentioned the dark, terrible things that happen during this time, and I thought, ‘Why is no one talking about this too?’ It’s only when you know everything that you’re prepared and are able to enjoy the beautiful moments as well. That was the main reason behind penning my book.

2You’ve been quite candid, talking about your abortions and water birth, postpartum problems and breastfeeding struggles. Did you face any tough moments while writing?

There’s a chapter, Perineal Woes, that is all about my vagina. I had trouble writing that chapter in terms of articulating my thoughts. I realise now that it’s one of my most personal chapters, and it’s probably going to make a lot of people cringe! About the abortion, I’d initially written just four lines in the first chapter. It was my editor Mansi who said, you should elaborate on this, as it’s a topic that’s not spoken about. She was right. So many of us go through it. If you have a broken arm, there are no qualms about calling friends or parents to accompany you to hospital, but an abortion is usually tackled alone. It’s so lonely a process that sometimes things go wrong because of this. It needs to be openly spoken about more.

3It was refreshing to find a chapter from the father’s point of view. Whose idea was that?

It was my best friend’s idea. She was talking to me about motherhood-related things and mentioned that her partner had postpartum blues. We never talk about men getting it. There aren’t many books by men about parenting and fatherhood. No fathers were writing or talking about their experiences. That’s when I decided to include a chapter by my partner. He actually wrote around 10 pages, and was quite upset when I had to strip it down for the comic format! I wanted to keep that chapter in the same mood as the rest of the book, so we’ve tried to maintain that. Artistically, Val drew the images differently, so that chapter has its own personality.

4 Does it matter to you what people will say about your confessions?

A hundred per cent! There’s no doubt that when you write from a personal place, you can’t be completely apolitical; you will side with one way or another. There will be people that may be offended by one or another subject that I’ve brought up, and that’s okay. Everyone has a different journey, a different experience of certain things. But the fact that I’ve rooted it in my personal experience makes me confident that I can stand up for myself, because I know what I went through. As a celebrity I’m used to the criticism, although it makes me nervous for sure. But if we all thought of that, no one would ever write anything!