Marital rape violates right to bodily integrity
The split verdict on criminalizing marital rape is disappointing to say the least. It is a big blow to women’s ownership of their bodies. Marriage does not give a man an unqualified right to his wife’s body, to do as he will. She is not his sexual slave. They must both earn this right every day. Sexual relations between a couple should be based on mutual love and desire, and neither spouse should assume consent as a right. In 2022, women in India are still struggling for autonomy – swaraj.
Their movements, all their life choices – whether or not they will study, what will they study and for how long, who they will marry, if they will have a career or not, are all controlled by others – their parents, husbands and in laws.
The strict, and in my opinion, repressive sexual norms and moral code deny girls any sexual agency whatsoever. It is ironic that in a country with such strict sexual norms, 4 rapes are reported every hour!
And this does not include the sexual assaults that girls and women face within their families.
Our Constitution gives all its citizens (and this includes women) a right to bodily integrity and this cannot be over ridden by the institution of marriage. Rape is rape - a heinous violation of bodily integrity. It is a crime always, anywhere and done by anyone. It is high time we began to look at marriage as an equal partnership between two sovereign persons, a relationship based on mutual love and trust and NOT a relationship where the woman is expected to be subservient to her husband.
All equal relationships are held together by consent. People are in the relationship, because they want to be. In a marriage too, both people have the right to expect that their consent will be taken each time.
And why is that too much to ask of men? Only because men have been raised with a strong sense of entitlement, of being the “raja beta” and growing into the role of ‘pati parmeshwar’ after marriage, lords and owners of their wives?
Our Constitution gives us all the right to equality, regardless of gender, caste or creed. All our institutions should uphold this right. Sadly the family is the one institution where these rights are most seriously violated. We only have to look at the double standards in play in our homes, which have been normalized and taken as God given. The battle for gender equality must be fought in our own homes first and foremost. They are the sites of the cruel oppression of girl and women. Laws criminalizing domestic violence and child marriage have helped women and NGOs fight for their rights.
They declared openly that domestic spaces are NOT exempt from laws of justice. That violence against anyone in the family is not acceptable and can’t be ignored or forgiven because it is a ‘family matter’.
A law criminalizing marital rape will be another important step in this direction. Forcibly having sex with your spouse is a violation of her body and should be treated as such! Thank you Justice Shakdher for your support, even though it was opposed by your own colleague! We trust the Supreme Court to uphold the constitutional rights of women when it is time to give their judgment.