Hackneyed hokum

THE DARK TOWER Direction: Nikolaj Arcel Actors: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey Rating:

After languishing in development hell for years — film-makers of the calibre of Ron Howard and JJ Abrams had evinced interest in the author Stephen King’s titular magnum opus — Danish director Nikolaj Arcel (A Royal Affair) clinched the dream assignment. Turns out, he was not an auspicious choice.

He attempts to pack as much of the eight-book series into as few minutes as possible, showing

scant interest in character dynamics or narrative coherence. The story wasn’t that gripping to begin with.

Set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland known as Mid-World, a jaded gunslinger (Idris Elba), a fearsome sorcerer aka Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey) and a psychic young boy (newcomer Tom Taylor) embark on a search for the Dark Tower, which can supposedly save their realm from extinction.

The hackneyed good-versus-evil

film never really hits its stride. Even the visual effects and action skirmishes lack panache.

The screenplay is dotted with such laugh-out-loud howlers as, “I do not kill with my gun, I kill with my heart” (this from the gunslinger).

Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey are serviceable, at best.

Reportedly planned as a franchise starter, The Dark Tower is to be followed by sequels and a TV spin-off. We are not thrilled.