My wife swears by Dharma, her lifeline
Although my better half is the most religious and devout gynaecologist in the world, I am not talking about that “dharma” at the moment. I am referring to Dharmendra, our 22-year-old household help for two years. “Pyar se log (read madam) mujhe Dharma kehte hain,” he likes telling people. Dharma is a Bihari babu and a fan of Shotgun Shatrughan Sinha. Within no time, he’s become a reason for joy in our house.
He came as the 12th man, but soon became the captain. My wife transferred all her exceptional culinary skills to him — it’s another matter that she doesn’t let him take all the credit when guests shower praise on the dishes he serves. And I must admit, he is a fast learner too. Seeing everyone around him dancing to her tunes, he also does that.
But his fat pay packet pinches me. So I tried to argue with her highness. “People like you spoil the servants and the market by paying so much. He gets oneand-a-half times more than what he would get elsewhere.” That was enough. She hit back: “That’s why you remain a poor administrator, and have a narrow vision despite being an eye surgeon. Money makes the mare go. I can get extra work from him if I pay extra. Moreover, his salary is the only thing not covered under the GST.”
My children had studied about slavery in the pre-Independence era. The definition of a slave depends upon individual interpretation. So while our NRI friends call household help a “luxury”, my wife considers him an essential part of her “aristocracy”.
But soon enough, Dharma started taking liberties. Once she yelled at him (I saw that coming). And he disappeared without any information, warning or notice. Perhaps he wasn’t used to that kind of loud music as some of his less fortunate brethren. I never had a choice, but he had one, right in the neighbourhood.
My wife was dumbstruck, perhaps not ready for such a disaster. I had seen a politician in her for a long time. But she completely stumped me by doing what Prime Minister Modi had done with Nitish Kumar. And her lifeline was back with folded hands, within 24 hours.
I am no Virat Kohli who learns from every match. So I suggested: “With children flying the nest, do we really require a servant?” She gave a look as if to say “Tigress Zinda Hai” and embarked on a long monologue. “Agreed I have been awarded a prize for multitasking (self-praise is no recommendation, I murmured), but I have better things to do. You try standing in the kitchen for a few hours. He is not the demanding types, you see; is he asking you for a TV? You haven’t given me as many smiles in 25 years as he has in two years.”
She just stopped short of telling me: “I’ll prefer him over you. You may leave if you like. Any day, I mean.” She did mention a silver jubilee, and thank God, not a 100-crore club, which I will never achieve in my life.
Now, I hear a rumour that her New Year resolution is to send him to a driving school to add another feather to his and her cap. And in the five-year plan, she wants to send him abroad when our children settle there. He is still unbeaten in his second innings. And she has her kitty groups turning green with envy when she says, “Mere paas Dharma hai.”
DEFINITION OF SLAVE DEPENDS ON INDIVIDUAL INTERPRETATION. WHILE NRIs CALL HOUSEHOLD HELP A ‘LUXURY’, MY WIFE CONSIDERS THEM ESSENTIAL TO HER ‘ARISTOCRACY’