Made for each other, for better or worse
Often during the adolescence and teenage of my children, I would dreamplan their weddings. Having just performed the wedding of our second son, as I sit in my armchair, trying to get my mind off my limbs aching from the humongous activity we have been through in the past few days, I pause to ponder. Is this all that parents are supposed to do? Give birth to children, bring them up, educate them and then get them married? But, come to think of it, is this not what our parents did for us? Did they not give of themselves selflessly to make us what we are? Perhaps parents do what they do, in the pay-it-forward-circle of life. Parents do everything without any expectation of return. If they get back love and respect it is a bonus.
I smile inwardly as I look at my son and his bride. I feel an immense sense of satisfaction and gratitude. Nowadays, while talking about the relationship between a man and a woman, the word used is partner. Gone are the days when the word wife or husband was the rule. Open and free sex has become so rampant in society that being pure and committed to your spouse (I refuse to settle for the word partner) is looked upon as being passé!
Having studied Hindu family law, I remember our professor at the department of laws, Panjab University, telling us that marriage is an institution, whereby a man and a woman can live together honourably and share consensual and conjugal relations but only after being conjoined in wedlock. The Hindus believe in the custom of ‘kanyadaan’, whereby parents of the bride give her away to the groom in pure and chaste form. Yes, marriage is the way prescribed by the Lord for mankind. Progeny begotten out of the wedlock is the way forward prescribed for the human race.
Orthodox though we may be labelled as, nonetheless I am thankful that we believe in and follow the sacred institution of marriage. We believe that a woman is the better half of a man. It is in our culture that Shiva gave the status of being His better half to his wife. Hence, the form of Ardhnarishwar or half woman-half man.
It is in our culture that the woman has been accorded the place of utmost respect. Our deities set the example by being referred to as Radha-Krishna, Sita-Rama, Gauri-Shankar and Lakshmi-Narayan. Corollary to this is that if the woman does not hold her husband in the highest esteem, she too falls from grace. Have not Radha, Sita or Gauri undergone immense pain and hardship during their lifetime? Despite that they always stood up for their husbands. A queen is a queen if only she is married to a king. She is a queen because of the king. A girl can be born a princess, but she can never be born a queen.
God made everything in pairs. Day and night, summer and winter, good and bad, man and woman...each one complements the other. That is the way He balances all of creation.
So why is there a struggle for women wanting to be like men? If all women would be like men, then who would the women be? I think women should be happy and proud to be women and forget trying to match up to men, for it’s just an exercise in futility.
WOMEN SHOULD BE HAPPY AND PROUD TO BE WOMEN AND FORGET TRYING TO MATCH UP TO MEN, FOR IT’S JUST AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY