Motherhood, beyond the umbilical cord
It was Mother’s Day yesterday. The second Sunday in the month of May when the malls are cashing out on emotions, social media oozing out with love for mothers and restaurants running tempting discounts. Completely oblivious of the importance of the day, I forgot to wish all happiness to my mother.
But what made this day memorable was a gesture that revealed to me profound and hitherto unsuspected dimensions of a woman’s capacity for extending love even to the least expected quarters. Sunday afternoon, a bouquet was delivered to me. It carried a handwritten note, which read, “Motherhood is not just about the woman who gave you birth. Thanks for being a mother to your mother.”
My mother had truly floored me. It was a teary moment and one which revealed to me the deeper meanings of both love and motherhood.
This also set me thinking on what is so special and so different about a mother’s love and whether this love is merely an extension of the need for us to see ourselves gaining immortality through the coming generations of children through our bloodline.
In fact, there are quite a few prominent motherly figures in religion and mythology that are a proof that for woman to go through the intense experience of motherhood, she does not have to wait for the birth of a child. Yashoda and Krishna, for example, did not share a bloodline. Similarly, Mata Sahib Kaur, the mother of the Khalsa Panth, was not the biological mother of Guru Gobind Singh’s children but that has never deprived her of the sublime status and title of motherhood of the entire ‘quom (community)’.
These great figures, as also Mother Teresa, reveal how a woman can be a mother to millions without being the mother of even one. The umbilical cord is not a biological string but an unbreakable and invisible bond that connects a woman to anyone who looks at and regards her as a mother. It is hard for men to realise what this motherly instinct is and how it operates throughout nature in which you sometimes see even wild female animals adopting young ones not born of them. A woman is blessed with the unfathomable love that can shower even on those not born of her.
Perhaps, the difference between motherhood and fatherhood is that while one is a natural instinct, the other is a feeling born primarily of the social institution – of fatherhood. For these reasons, the note I received on this Mother’s Day left a profound impact on me and made me want to go down on my knees in gratitude to all the women who have nurtured me at some stage of my life. All those nannies, the kindergarten teachers, the professors, who mothered countless children not born of them, have restored my faith in humanity.
It has also convinced me that the strongest form of love – the love a mother feels for her child – is more than a biological phenomenon.
And then, we have strong evidence on the presence of ‘maternal instinct’ even in men. So this time, I decided to present a special bouquet to my grandfather who, after the demise of my grandmother, has become a mother to his children . While it is true that there is no one like a mother in this world, the word mother needs to be given a wider meaning and interpretation.
MY MOTHER HAD TRULY FLOORED ME. IT WAS A TEARY MOMENT THAT REVEALED TO ME THE DEEPER MEANINGS OF BOTH LOVE AND MOTHERHOOD