A man who celebrated his third daughter’s birth

Ababy girl’s birth 50 years ago was considered to be a bad omen, but in 1964, when I was born, there were celebrations at home.

I was the third girl child of my parents, Swarn Singh Mann and Daljit Kaur of Abul Khurana village in Punjab’s Muktsar.

A lot of people, relatives, friends and neighbours came home to meet my parents supposedly to commiserate with them on what they thought was the ‘unfortunate’ event of my birth. My father, a practicing lawyer at the Muktsar Bar, even received a semi-official letter from the secretary of the bar association on this ‘tragic’ incident in our family.

My late father, in whose memory I am penning these few lines as he passed away a month ago, was frustrated and furious with people’s reaction to my birth. Then he decided to do something about it.

First he circulated a letter among the bar association members with boxes of sweets to announce and celebrate my birth, which left everyone confused and mystified (remember, it happened half a century ago).

Later, my father organised an akhand-path bhog (prayer and community meals). The invitation card read: This is to celebrate the birth of Raman Mann.

Relatives and friends participated in large numbers and Gianiji who conducted the ceremony was requested to lay special emphasis on the birth of a third female child in the family, thanking the Akal Purakh (almighty) for this wonderful gift to the family. Many women in the gathering did not seem to like what was being said and wondered how my father could rejoice after the birth of a third daughter.

That was not all. My father also made sure elderly women in every strata of society were respected as seniors and encouraged to be financially independent. Sixty years ago he transferred to my grandmother half of the agricultural land he owned, giving her the authority to use the income generated from 50 acres of land in whichever way she desired.

Some relatives, villagers and family friends were opposed to my father’s actions saying he had disturbed the basic fabric of society and that elderly women were best left to do household duties with whatever little finances they needed to get by.

As on date we pay only lip service to women’s empowerment but salute to my late father who made sure his mother remained financially independent in her sunset years. As a matter of fact, he could not stop worrying about others. Before passing away, very ill and at the age of 84, my father had a frequent visitor at a top private hospital in the tricity. His first cousin with whom he spent his entire childhood at Abul Khurana village, former Punjab CM Parkash Singh Badal, often came to see him.

On the former CM’s last visit to the hospital, my father in a semiconscious state requested that he be moved to the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research(PGIMER) Chandigarh for further treatment. We were surprised as father was getting quality treatment at the private hospital. On reaching PGIMER, however, we came to know about his actual intentions. Father had filled up a body donation form at the hospital earlier. The day we took him to PGIMER, within a span of few hours, he breathed his last and left for his heavenly abode.

The senior doctors who examined his medical reports informed us that only his eyes could be donated.

A few days ago my brother Gurnandan Singh Mann received a letter from the eye bank that two persons had benefited from the gift of father’s eyes and were able to see the beautiful world again. A small tribute to an extraordinary gentleman. May his soul rest in peace.

MY FATHER CIRCULATED BOXES OF SWEEETS AMONG BAR BODY MEMBERS TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTH