RE­PEAT MODE

As Rita Ora and Ricky Hil split for good af­ter get­ting back with each other twice, we an­a­lyse the im­pact and com­pli­ca­tions of on-again off-again re­la­tion­ships

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Variety - Collin Ro­drigues collin. ro­drigues@ hin­dus­tan­times. com (Names of all in­di­vid­u­als have been changed)

While a num­ber of cou­ples prac­tise the ‘no-stringsat­tached’ code af­ter break­ing up, many just can’t give up the re­la­tion­ship in one go. Case in point: Bri­tish singer-song­writer Rita Ora and her ex, hip-hop artiste Ricky Hil. While the duo re­cently split, it wasn’t the first time they’ve parted ways. Ora and Hil are not the only ones. Even singers Justin Bieber and Se­lena Gomez shared a com­pli­cated history of break­ing up and patch­ing again, un­til they fi­nally parted ways last Oc­to­ber. While celebs are of­ten in the news for their per­sonal lives, on-again, off-again re­la­tion­ships are not rare among non-celebrity cou­ples ei­ther.

Un­end­ing cy­cle

Aish­warya Ram­nath, 26, and Haresh Savla, 28, both work at the stock ex­change, and have been dat­ing for three years. They have bro­ken up sev­eral times, but haven’t given up on each other just yet. “I have stopped tak­ing break-ups se­ri­ously now. Ev­ery time we break up, we end up to­gether af­ter a few months. I don’t know what could be the rea­son for this,” says Ram­nath.

The cou­ple work in the same build­ing, and even have sim­i­lar work tim­ings. “One of the rea­sons we end up get­ting back to­gether is prob­a­bly be­cause of our pro­fes­sional lives. When­ever I’ve bro­ken up with Aish­warya, I have missed her, and I’ve al­ways ended up out­side her of­fice af­ter a few days, try­ing to con­vince her to get back. I guess the next time we part ways, one of us should leave our job, and start work­ing some­where else,” says Savla.

Ex­perts feel that one of the rea­sons for this pat­tern is that it of­ten be­comes dif­fi­cult for cou­ples to get over each other. “Cou­ples know their strengths and weak­nesses. When they part, they miss the good mo­ments, which they shared in the past. So get­ting over each other be­comes dif­fi­cult,” says psy­chother­a­pist and life coach Neeta V Shetty, adding, “Some peo­ple also get in­se­cure af­ter a break up, es­pe­cially if they don’t find a new part­ner soon. All these fac­tors play a ma­jor role in peo­ple get­ting back to­gether.”

New ap­proach

How­ever, some be­lieve in break­ing the pat­tern and start­ing a new life af­ter a cou­ple of sour ex­pe­ri­ences, some­thing that hap­pened with Mi­hika Seth, 25, who works for a web­site, and Nan­dish Soni, 26, a mar­ket­ing man­ager. They dated for four years, and broke up thrice in that du­ra­tion. Af­ter get­ting back twice, it’s been two months to their third break up. “I wanted change in my life. I wasn’t happy with the way things were shap­ing up in my re­la­tion­ship with Nan­dish. There were a lot of mis­un­der­stand­ings. In fact, I ended up cheat­ing on him twice. But I came back to him be­cause I wasn’t happy with the other men. I felt I was bet­ter off with him,” says Seth.

On the other hand, Soni says that he ac­cepted her back in spite of know­ing her in­fi­delity be­cause he didn’t have an op­tion. “I didn’t want to date a new per­son. It’s not easy to find love. Dur­ing the time we were not to­gether, I kept to my­self. I knew I’d find some­one some­day, but I never ex­pected it to be Mi­hika, that too twice,” he says.

But now, Soni has de­cided to make a clean break, and will soon fly out of the city for a job over­seas. “I want to for­get my past and move on. I don’t want to go through the same phase again, and re­peat the same mis­takes. Now, I wish we had never patched up and dated again af­ter the two painful break-ups. I re­pent it,” he says.

Putting things into per­spec­tive, re­la­tion­ship coun­sel­lor Git­tan­jali V Sax­ena says that cou­ples should ideally not re­unite af­ter split­ting once. “Get­ting back with some­one re­peat­edly is like treat­ing each other like tro­phies. It’s an un­healthy sign and lacks re­spect for love,” she says, adding, “Cou­ples should ideally not re­unite af­ter a break-up. It is okay if it hap­pens once, but it shouldn’t be­come a pat­tern. Peo­ple in such re­la­tion­ships should com­pletely avoid mar­riage be­cause if they are not sure of their part­ner’s love now or are not com­pat­i­ble with the per­son they are dat­ing, then there are very high chances of them stray­ing later.”

Ricky Hil and

Rita Ora

A file pic­ture of Justin Bieber and Se­lena Gomez

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