‘Try ap­pre­ci­at­ing each other’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Entertainment - cyrus@hin­dus­tan­times.com And I’ll give you some re­lief…. err… that is, pro­vided, I’m not do­ing a head­stand at the time

I was in a re­la­tion­ship with a guy for five years. But he dumped me be­cause he said he was not per­fect for me. I don’t how to make him re­alise that he is wrong. I’ve tried ev­ery­thing, but he doesn’t want to understand. Please help.


Let’s turn to history. The fa­mous Dutch King Gil­bert The MAD did many out­ra­geous things. He was the first king to come out in pub­lic wear­ing only one sock. Dutch aris­toc­racy didn’t ap­pre­ci­ate the nude dy­nasty. Gil­bert also

fa­mously tried to feed his favourite horse Gul­let only lamb as a diet in or­der to in­crease his pace and mus­cle for­ma­tion. Gul­let died of star­va­tion in 23 days. PT, I bring this up for two rea­sons: One, I want to draw a par­al­lel with your sit­u­a­tion, and sec­ond, I like to show off. Your guy is like a horse. He doesn’t want the mut­ton. Af­ter 5 years, he’s had enough. In­stead of get­ting him back, ask for a proper ex­pla­na­tion, but please pre­pare for clo­sure. You can take a horse to wa­ter, but you can­not force it to eat mut­ton.

I like a guy who fights a lot with me, like Ka­jol and Shah Rukh Khan in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I’m in love with him. I’ve told him about my feel­ings, but he ig­nored me. How do I know if he has feel­ings for me?


It’s ac­tu­ally a myth that fight­ing means you love each other. I mean, that wouldn’t ex­plain the Arab-Is­rael con­flict or ISIS and the civilised world. Or if it were true, Aamir Khan and Arnab Goswami would be hold­ing hands ev­ery evening. I’m told Ka­jol and Shah Rukh are still fight­ing th­ese many years later. So, don’t hope for too much based on this fight­ing ex­pe­ri­ence since you’ve al­ready spo­ken to him and he’s not re­sponded. I sug­gest you should try to im­prove the qual­ity of the re­la­tion­ship. Try ap­pre­ci­at­ing each other. See if this im­proves the cur­rent sta­tus; the next steps will fol­low.

I am a CA stu­dent and I love my class­mate. I want to pro­pose to her, but I can’t be­cause she is a top­per and I am just above av­er­age. This dif­fer­ence is killing me from in­side. I have de­cided to pro­pose to her once I clear my ex­ams, but I think that would be too late. What do I do?


Why fol­low the caste sys­tem or rather class sys­tem in class? A top­per may go out with a duf­fer. I rechecked with 17 school prin­ci­pals. It’s all good. And why the hurry to pro­pose? Does she like you? Does she have an idea of your agenda? Have you ever met her? Love is not a con­sumer prod­uct. You can’t just look at the shelf and say ‘I like it, I’ll buy it, and can I get a dis­count?’ First get to know her and get her to know you. Ex­ams and love can go side by side.

Once, while at a party at my boss’s house, I started talk­ing to his wife. Af­ter that, we shared our num­bers and started chat­ting on What­sApp. We are good friends now, which I guess my boss doesn’t know. I’m wor­ried this friend­ship may de­velop into some­thing else. I’ve de­cided to end the friend­ship. How do I do it?


Oops, this is a del­i­cate sit­u­a­tion. You re­mind me of my first at­tempt at the par­al­lel bars. I fell in 3 and a half sec­onds while tak­ing one steel bar down with me. You could be set­ting your­self up for black­mail. You could record your break­ing up as an in­sur­ance. But I’d pre­fer the old fash­ioned manly way — where you ba­si­cally make ex­cuses and start avoid­ing her till she gives up! The cow­ardly ap­proach is also known as both the no­ble ap­proach and the civilised ap­proach. I sort of pi­o­neered it, so I’ve reg­is­tered it as the ‘Barocha Ap­proach’. I would still ask you to tread care­fully, T S bhai.

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