‘How about not try­ing to force your girl­friend to do things?’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle -

Re­cently, I be­came friends with this girl, who pro­posed to me a few days later. But, now she has left the coach­ing class where we met. She doesn’t have any con­tact. I don’t want to lose her. What should I do? AMP

AMP, you say she pro­posed to you but you didn’t clar­ify what hap­pened next. Did you agree or did you stick down­grade to ‘friend­ship’? The coach­ing class will have her con­tact de­tails. I mean that’s what coach­ing classes were in­vented for. To help boys and girls meet. If you passed ex­ams, it was meant to be a bonus. So don’t waste time. She’s pro­posed, go find her. I mean, did you learn noth­ing in your class.

Re­cently, my girl­friend of six years started work­ing. Af­ter which, she’d call me only once a week. Nowa­days, she calls me ev­ery day be­cause I force her to do so. But, she talks rudely, and then, we start ar­gu­ing. How do I han­dle her? Vishal

Vishal, the an­swer to your queries is there in Wil­liam Shake­speare’s com­edy. The Merry Wives of Wind­sor. You find Act 2 Scene 3 and Act 5 scene 1 of great merit and as­sur­ance. Un­for­tu­nately, my wife threw my Shake­speare plays out of the house as I had kept it with my other adult lit­er­a­ture con­tent, if you know what I mean. By the way, Shake­speare could be quite filthy! In the mean­time, how about not boss­ing or try­ing to force your girl­friend to do things? Noth­ing kills love more than acts of force. This ex­plains why pro­fes­sional weightlifters have poor love lives. Just pull back, chill and don’t tell her what to do.

I have a crush on a cute guy who left the com­pany where I work. He re­cently sent me a friend re­quest. I don’t even know if he’s dat­ing some­one or is mar­ried. I hardly get im­pressed by any guy, but I like him be­cause he ap­peared to be quite de­cent. The prob­lem is he’s in some other city. Should I mes­sage him or for­get him? ST

ST, of course, you should mes­sage him. How can you back off with­out know­ing more? This is like hav­ing a plant, but not wa­ter­ing it be­cause you’re not sure. Our so­ci­ety is lit­tered with un­wa­tered plants, as a re­sult, peo­ple like you, who go into a state of coma when­ever they are con­fronted by ro­mance. You are still in the friend stage, so stay in touch. As you know in 2016, 79% of peo­ple who fell in love did so through a friend re­quest. The rest were all on Twit­ter, of course.

I’ve been in re­la­tion­ship for al­most a year. His par­ents are pre­pared to get us mar­ried. But I’m scared to tell my dad be­cause of his chronic ill­ness and tem­per. I re­ally love this guy and want to spend my life with him. How should I tell my dad? SP

SP, you have his par­ents’ sup­port plus pre­sum­ably your own mother’s as well. That’s 75% of both sets of par­ents. This would have al­lowed you to avoid Brexit for God’s sake. For­get Brexit, 75% would al­low you to form our gov­ern­ment! Get­ting the fourth par­ent on your side is a game of patience. Use your col­lec­tive pow­ers of all rel­a­tives and friends to help dad come on board.

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