POKE­MON GO, GO, GO, GONE!

Some­times you don’t need a game for catch­ing the real trick­sters in life…

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Time Out - SONAL KALRA Sonal Kalra just spot­ted Chad­dha ji fall­ing into a pud­dle of water in the neigh­bour’s gar­den. He must be look­ing for the ‘com­mon-sense Poke­mon’. Un­likely to ever catch. Mail your thoughts at sonal.kalra@hin­dus­tan­times.com or face­book.com/son

Haylo you good souls, I’m back with a bang. And suit­ably chas­tised by all and sundry for spend­ing time and moolah trav­el­ling to the re­motest Euro­pean vil­lages to check out fi­rang cows, when our own are as good, and well, holier.

So much hap­pened while I was away, you know. Modi ji stayed put in In­dia to pro­vide com­fort and se­cu­rity to lit­tle bro Ke­jri­wal who was scared for his life. Ramdev ji de­cided to look at the world up­side down and got the di­vine aadesh to de­but as world’s first foot­baller in a dhoti. Barkha poured and how, in Mum­bai, Gu­ru­gram… on Face­book. Ka­reena Kapoor Khan man­aged the in­cred­i­bly rare feat of re­pro­duc­ing and the media fell all over each other to try and get you the first look of the barely ex­is­tent baby bump. But the most in­ter­est­ing thing that hap­pened while I tried hard to med­i­tate in the Alps was the emer­gence of Poke­mon Go.

Now, un­less you were also med­i­tat­ing in the neigh­bour­ing cave and the 4G promised by the pixie cut girl in the Ad didn’t reach your phone as it al­most never does, you’ve got to know what Poke­mon Go is. It’s a mo­bile app game like other games, ex­cept that it’s not. It makes you look for, and cap­ture, hid­den Poke­mon char­ac­ters in the ar­eas around you. So if you see some­one walk­ing like a zom­bie in the mid­dle of the night point­ing their phone at bushes and fall­ing into a pot­hole in the process, that’s what they are play­ing. Apni taraf se ba­nane waali com­pany ne kya teer maara hai…an in­no­va­tion in aug­mented re­al­ity, a game with a pur­pose, makes you ven­ture out­doors and ac­tu­ally walk (once the frac­ture heals). Idiots. Clearly the fi­rangs didn’t know that we in In­dia are al­ready used to hunt­ing elu­sive Poke­mons all our lives. My cre­ative con­sul­tant Ab­hishek Dug­gal, who has be­come the true sav­ior of this col­umn, im­plored me to write about our very own desi poke­mons. Those who we keep try­ing to catch but mostly fall flat on our faces in the process. Here we go…

1

The ud­haar-wala-friend Poke­mon:

Do you have a friend who bor­rowed money last month with the prom­ise to re­turn in a week? Have you been try­ing to spot him ever since? Some­times you spot him in the can­teen and con­fi­dently walk to­wards him, but wooosh. He’s a Poke­mon, he wouldn’t be caught. These kind of peo­ple know the van­ish­ing trick bet­ter than any aug­mented re­al­ity sci­en­tist can imag­ine. Keep try­ing.

2

The true-love Poke­mon:

Hey you senti one. Look into my eyes. What’s the last rom-com you saw..huh? You’re look­ing for true love… the kinds you read about in Mills and Boons or saw in Meg Ryan films. But the Poke­mon of true love kept giv­ing you a miss, and you fell into the dirty world of Game of Thrones with a vengeance. Sigh. Keep look­ing though. I know of some peo­ple who were able to cap­ture this one. For a while.

3

The salary-hike Poke­mon:

Yeh thoda nah mi­lega eas­ily? Now this one knows how to ditch you bet­ter than any­one else. You can try hunt­ing for it, spot him grin­ning be­hind the shoul­ders of the HR ex­ec­u­tive and show­ing you the tongue, but the mo­ment you go close, he dis­ap­pears in the dense ap­praisal cloud. Mi­lega, mi­lega…when you stop play­ing video games and in­stead do some work at work.

So you got the drift, yaar… the Poke­mons of our real life are far too elu­sive and hard to get. But the re­ward when we in­deed get them is way more that col­lect­ing points on a dumb screen. I want you to tell me what are the Poke­mons you’ve been hunt­ing for, and let’s to­gether find a cool and calm way of catch­ing them. Say what!

THE POKE­MONS OF OUR REAL LIFE ARE FAR TOO ELU­SIVE AND HARD TO GET. THOSE WHO WE KEEP TRY­ING TO CATCH BUT MOSTLY FALL FLAT ON OUR FACES

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