‘World is an open field’

I didn’t talk to my boyfriend for a month because of a fight. Since the time I’ve started talking to him, I don’t feel like myself. I can’t resist missing him either. What should I do? LH

LH, I’ve sent your question to the CBI, RAW, the FBI and this cleaning lady called ‘Neelima’, who is very wise and helps me with my own personal problems, (which are all sleep related). You see, your question is very confusing. I mean after the break, did you miss him or did you not feel good about yourself when you talked to him? Are there more sinister reasons due to which you are not feeling good towards him? Try this as an exercise, avoid him for three days, and if you are still dying to speak to him, then you know where you stand, if not, you are ‘cured’.

I love a guy and he too loves me. But, he hasn’t proposed to me as yet. Also, our bond only grows stronger every day. Should I propose him? How do I deal with the situation? Ruchira S

Ruchira S, if you love each other, what’s the need for this proposal? See, if you guys are good, why formalise things and pull pressure on yourselves? Labels are always handy to carry. I say ditch the proposal, you are already an item. After any proposal, what if you find he’s a really bad singer, for instance.

I’ve been crushing on a guy since the last two years and seven months. We have a lot of things in common. A long time back, one of my friends told him that I like him. So, he asked me if it was true. But, I said no to him. I tried confessing to him a few months ago, but ran away at the last moment. I’ve overcome my shyness. But, the real problem is that he belongs to a popular group and I do not. Please help. Divvi

Divvi, a long time ago, I fell in love with a 22-year-old Ms India contestant called Shweta. But since I was only 5-year-old at the time, the relationship didn’t go anywhere, even though I confessed my feelings to her. Let me tell you a secret. People can tell when someone has a crush on them. Awkward behaviour, such as scratching your right eyebrow, breathing heavily into your own shirt or staring — all tend to give the game away. He may be more receptive than you think. If he was to make fun of you later, he’s a jerk, in any case. So, might as well let him know, you’ve got nothing to lose. And I think he knows and you know, that he knows.

Recently, my girlfriend’s ex texted her after a long time. They hadn’t spoken since their breakup. She replied to him and showed me the conversation that followed on texts. She asked me if she can be friends with him. I gave her my opinion. I think she has feelings for her ex. I don’t want to lose her. Please help. SK

Chow Yun fat once said “Love is not a military school.” SK bhai, you can’t control her. The world is an open field. You’ve got to compete in love. Even if you ask her not to stay in touch, she still just might. Instead of controlling, try and be more trusting. Trust builds trust. And sometimes Trusts builds schools. But, let’s digress — you have to be open, flexible and straight forward. Be positive, you are world no 1. Back yourself, in the relationship. Keep her happy and don’t worry about the others.