‘World is an open field’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Time Out -

I didn’t talk to my boyfriend for a month be­cause of a fight. Since the time I’ve started talk­ing to him, I don’t feel like my­self. I can’t re­sist miss­ing him ei­ther. What should I do? LH

LH, I’ve sent your ques­tion to the CBI, RAW, the FBI and this clean­ing lady called ‘Nee­l­ima’, who is very wise and helps me with my own per­sonal prob­lems, (which are all sleep re­lated). You see, your ques­tion is very con­fus­ing. I mean af­ter the break, did you miss him or did you not feel good about your­self when you talked to him? Are there more sin­is­ter rea­sons due to which you are not feel­ing good to­wards him? Try this as an ex­er­cise, avoid him for three days, and if you are still dy­ing to speak to him, then you know where you stand, if not, you are ‘cured’.

I love a guy and he too loves me. But, he hasn’t pro­posed to me as yet. Also, our bond only grows stronger ev­ery day. Should I pro­pose him? How do I deal with the sit­u­a­tion? Ruchira S

Ruchira S, if you love each other, what’s the need for this pro­posal? See, if you guys are good, why for­malise things and pull pres­sure on your­selves? La­bels are al­ways handy to carry. I say ditch the pro­posal, you are al­ready an item. Af­ter any pro­posal, what if you find he’s a re­ally bad singer, for in­stance.

I’ve been crush­ing on a guy since the last two years and seven months. We have a lot of things in com­mon. A long time back, one of my friends told him that I like him. So, he asked me if it was true. But, I said no to him. I tried con­fess­ing to him a few months ago, but ran away at the last mo­ment. I’ve over­come my shy­ness. But, the real prob­lem is that he be­longs to a pop­u­lar group and I do not. Please help. Divvi

Divvi, a long time ago, I fell in love with a 22-year-old Ms In­dia con­tes­tant called Sh­weta. But since I was only 5-year-old at the time, the re­la­tion­ship didn’t go any­where, even though I con­fessed my feel­ings to her. Let me tell you a se­cret. Peo­ple can tell when some­one has a crush on them. Awk­ward be­hav­iour, such as scratch­ing your right eye­brow, breath­ing heav­ily into your own shirt or star­ing — all tend to give the game away. He may be more re­cep­tive than you think. If he was to make fun of you later, he’s a jerk, in any case. So, might as well let him know, you’ve got noth­ing to lose. And I think he knows and you know, that he knows.

Re­cently, my girl­friend’s ex texted her af­ter a long time. They hadn’t spo­ken since their breakup. She replied to him and showed me the con­ver­sa­tion that fol­lowed on texts. She asked me if she can be friends with him. I gave her my opin­ion. I think she has feel­ings for her ex. I don’t want to lose her. Please help. SK

Chow Yun fat once said “Love is not a mil­i­tary school.” SK bhai, you can’t con­trol her. The world is an open field. You’ve got to com­pete in love. Even if you ask her not to stay in touch, she still just might. In­stead of con­trol­ling, try and be more trust­ing. Trust builds trust. And some­times Trusts builds schools. But, let’s di­gress — you have to be open, flex­i­ble and straight for­ward. Be pos­i­tive, you are world no 1. Back your­self, in the re­la­tion­ship. Keep her happy and don’t worry about the oth­ers.

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