WHY FAKE BLISS ONLINE?

Couples often overshare their life on social media. Are they trying to mask relationship issues? We ask experts

Social media has become an integral part of people’s lives these days. And with the excessive use of smartphones, people prefer being online most of the time. Whether it’s posting pictures on Facebook, Instagram or using WhatsApp to keep your life updated, people’s lives have been taken over by social media. On any given day, you log into Facebook or Instagram, you will realise that there are several people who post their life’s details with either pictures and captions, or with status updates. What follows are likes and comments from other users.

Recently, a prominent UK news outlet reported that couples, who ‘gush’ about each other through their status online and overshare comments or selfies of themselves, may be doing it to ‘mask their relationship insecurities’. At the same time, it has also been reported that couples who are really happy post less about their relationships on social media. In other words, does this mean we try to portray a different side online, so that we can shield from people something that is unsavoury?

Clinical psychologist Tanushree Bhargava admits it is true to a large extent. She says, “We can’t entirely say that everybody who posts a happy picture online or gushes about him or her is unhappy. Many of these people may be genuinely happy. But, yes, I personally know of people who are going through relationship issues, but their online posts are the exact opposite. Anyway, in our real lives, you won’t find people openly talking about their problems. The online space has a bigger audience, so portraying your sad side would be like standing in a town hall and proclaiming that you are facing relationship troubles.”

DEFENCE MECHANISMS

Also, if you are going through problems with your partner and the fact that you are portraying a different picture online may be helpful in coping with a stressful relationship. Bhargava says, “Everybody has a different way of handling a stressful situation. When a person is unable to manage heightened emotions properly, he or she might resort to a defensive style of coping with the situation by posting happy pictures on social media, though in reality they may be unhappy in their real lives.” Psychiatrist Gittanjali Saxena says people who are content in their relationship won’t display emotions on a public forum. She says, “Only people who need a constant validation post their pictures and details about their relationship on social media. In case, you are not happy in a relationship, a few niggling doubts will definitely make you more active on social media as a reassurance to yourself about the relationship. Happy couples are sure and confident in their relationship, so they do not advertise much on the social platform. I have often seen couples washing their dirty linen in public, but it does not help, rather makes a farce of the people involved.”

Often, most posts on social media receive a lot of ‘likes’ or comments. So, do these positive reactions help people who are unhappy in any way? Says Saxena, “Comments and likes do lift a person’s mood, and make him or her euphoric for some time. He or she may start believing that things are workable. People suffering from complexes and low self-esteem often get happy after the comments and likes on their social media page.”

SET LIMITS

Posting our life online, in the form of pictures has become a norm these days. But Bhargava says that people who are facing problems in their relationship should be careful before portraying a happy picture online. She says, “I believe not everything should be publicly displayed as it might elevate the intensity of the problems. Especially, if your partner, with whom you have issues, disagrees with your posts. Problems can get compounded.”

PEOPLE WHO ARE FACING PROBLEMS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE CAREFUL BEFORE PORTRAYING A HAPPY PICTURE ONLINE