‘Boys, go online and buy some courage’

I am in relationship with a girl. But, the problem is that one of her friends has a crush on me and always tries to interfere in my relationship. My girlfriend is upset because of her behaviour. How should I avoid her? Confused Soul

Confused soul or should I say, love rascal? Love is not rocket science — this is a quote by Chinese Philosopher Fan Ling, who used this quote before rockets were invented. You obviously enjoy the attention, which is okay in a limited capacity, but the answer you seek is pretty simple. According to Sage Dharamveer, you have to follow a 3-step process. First, go into the forest. Second, turn your head to the sky. Third, whether you ignore this girl, or tell her not to waste her time by barking up your….er tree. If you truly love your girlfriend, you gotta shake the other girl lose. And you can avoid her by simply avoiding her.

I have been chatting with a girl for a while now. I know she is interested in me. I am scared of asking her out because if she says no, she may stop talking to me. What should I do? AT

But, AT why are you scared to ask her out? Have you heard that she turns into a werewolf, when outside? Does she have criminal cases pending against her. Then you’ve already done better than the average Indian male. (We normally have imaginary conversations with our lovers). Also please go online and check, if you can buy some courage. Stop feeling all this fear. Yes, ask her out. That is the next step after chatting, and engaging in regular conversation. There’s no guarantees in life, but please try and do something, while the girl is still under 75 years of age.

I am 55 and last year I fell in love with a widow, who is 10 years younger to me. I often visit her at the small shop that she runs. I even give her gifts and help her financially. Recently, she stopped talking to me. She has asked me stop visiting her because she may get a bad name in the society. Please help. RKJ

RKJ, congratulations firstly on your choice of younger lover. 10 years younger than you is great news. Well done. I’m not a fan of the money thing though. Did you want her to be your lover or are you an NGO? Also she seems a little socially embarrassed by the whole song and dance for whatever reason. I suggest you take this offline and talk to her privately. Concentrate on the friendship and avoid loud gestures in public. First, she needs to engage on a more personal level. Build her confidence, and avoid ‘love’ donations. That’s only needed, if you are in a cult.

I am in love with a girl who likes my dimples. We chat a lot and I talk to her in a romantic manner. I think she also likes me. What should I do? SS

SS, so let me get this straight. You are basing the girl’s feeling for you on the fact that she likes your dimples? King Constantine IV of Turkey (then known as Bupanagar), did the same thing with his first wife, Ignorus the IV. He married her on the basis that all her toes were stuck together even though knee upward, she was ‘Godawful’ to look at. Needless to say, the marriage didn’t last. SS, I say stop focussing on your family’s pride and joy, your dimples, and carry on your other good work. And by that, I mean your romantic overtures. She likes you and you like her. So you don’t need my help. Just my thumbs up. Keep going, dimples and all.