Five rea­sons why ar­gu­ing with your part­ner is good for your re­la­tion­ship

How­ever ab­surd it may sound, a healthy ar­gu­ment with your part­ner is the se­cret to a happy re­la­tion­ship

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Time Out - Ak­shay Kaushal ak­shay.kaushal@htlive.com

We have heard sto­ries of cou­ples who never fight and are sup­pos­edly re­ferred to be the ideal one around. But, in this sit­u­a­tion, does love re­ally grow? Per­haps not. There are cou­ples who avoid con­flict. But are they suc­cess­ful in mak­ing their mar­riage work? And even if they suc­ceed, are they happy and in love with each other? We give you five rea­sons why a healthy ar­gu­ment is a good thing and that you should do it once in a while. Your re­la­tion be­comes stronger with no grudges:

We ar­gue to ex­press out point of view on a cer­tain is­sue. By do­ing this we aren’t keep­ing our thoughts to our­selves and thus clear­ing the dif­fer­ences. “As we speak our heart out, it helps in the longer run. None of the part­ners hold grudge against each other and even un­der­stand each other well, when caught in a sit­u­a­tion,” says mar­riage coun­selor Shivani Misri Sad­hoo.

Fight­ing cre­ates depths of in­ti­macy: In­ti­macy in a re­la­tion in­creases through healthy ar­gu­ments. One re­alises when to draw the line and what sort of be­hav­iour to ex­pect from the part­ner. Dr Anil Sethi says, “Also, many a times, cou­ples in­dulging in a fight, end up apol­o­gis­ing to each other and even get­ting in­ti­mate.” It in­creases trust:

Through dis­cus­sions, one tends to open up to the part­ner even more and the trust level in­creases. It helps avoid un­fore­seen ar­gu­ments that could end up in a bit­ter breakup. “A re­la­tion­ship with­out fights is full of se­crets. Most of the times part­ners avoid con­flict be­cause they think this would end their re­la­tion­ship. But by avoid­ing it, they are mak­ing it more com­pli­cated. When out­burst hap­pens, the reper­cus­sions are cat­a­strophic. We are so des­per­ate to be un­der­stood that we for­get to un­der­stand oth­ers,” says mar­riage

coun­selor Shivani Misri Sad­hoo. You feel bet­ter:

Ex­press­ing your opin­ion dur­ing an ar­gu­ment can make you feel re­laxed. But while do­ing it, make sure you aren’t be­ing rude. “Re­la­tion­ships should be like a roller-coaster ride. Ev­ery re­la­tion­ship is bound to fluc­tu­ate. One should in­dulge in healthy de­bates to un­der­stand each other’s im­por­tance. I’ve al­ways ad­vised that if there is a dif­fer­ence of opin­ion, one should re­solve it be­fore hit­ting the bed,” says re­la­tion­ship coun­selor Dr Anil Sethi.It im­proves your

char­ac­ter: Fights only make you stronger and in­crease your level of patience, care and love for your part­ner. Some times you even adapt your­self to the other per­son’s faults. “How­ever, make sure that the ar­gu­ment doesn’t hap­pen too of­ten be­cause that will cre­ate trou­ble in your par­adise,” says Dr Sethi.

PHOTO: ISTOCK

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