Mar­riage pact, real or not?

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - City - Collin Rodrigues collin.rodrigues@hin­dus­tan­

Mar­riage is of­ten lauded for its ben­e­fits and the hap­pi­ness it brings. A lot of peo­ple go to great lengths to make their mar­riage feel and seem per­fect. How­ever, wed­lock just isn’t meant for ev­ery­one. Dur­ing a re­cent in­ter­view with HT City, when asked why she never tied the knot, Asha Parekh said, “I would just say that I wasn’t des­tined to get mar­ried. Now, when I look back, I feel I’m happy that I never got mar­ried.”

When it comes to an av­er­age In­dian, most peo­ple are mar­ried by the time they turn 35, and even if one doesn’t want to get mar­ried, so­ci­etal and parental pres­sures of­ten con­vince peo­ple to take the leap. But, times are chang­ing, and an in­creas­ing num­ber of peo­ple pre­fer to stay un­mar­ried, de­spite be­ing in re­la­tion­ships.


Con­sul­tant psy­chi­a­trist Dr Am­br­ish Dhar­mad­hikari says that peo­ple th­ese days are of the opin­ion that mar­riage is just a so­cial con­tract and re­la­tion­ships are built through ef­fort and not by so­cial com­pul­sions. Liv­ing in, or co­hab­i­ta­tion, of­fers the ad­van­tage of free­dom,” he says. But clin­i­cal psy­chol­o­gist Tanushree Bhar­gava has a dif­fer­ent take on the is­sue. She says live-in re­la­tion­ships are pop­u­lar only in big­ger cities. She says, “In tra­di­tional fam­i­lies, the com­pul­sion to get mar­ried at a cer­tain age hasn’t changed much. The change has been seen in met­ros, where highly qual­i­fied and pro­fes­sion­ally com­pe­tent young­sters are liv­ing a life that is dif­fer­ent from their tra­di­tional back­grounds.”


There’s a big dif­fer­ence be­tween a per­son who didn’t choose to marry and some­one who is un­mar­ried be­cause they didn’t find a suit­able part­ner. Bhar­gava says peo­ple who chose not to marry may have fewer prob­lems in life than those who couldn’t find the right part­ner. But she adds that stay­ing un­mar­ried can be prob­lem­atic in the later stages of life. She says, “Stay­ing un­mar­ried through­out one’s life can cre­ate men­tal im­bal­ances, lead­ing to ag­gres­sion, or mood swings.”


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