It’s time to re­vise your dat­ing lingo, from bench­ing to DTR

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - HT City | Lifestyle - Nikita Sax­ena nikita.sax­ ■

Gone are the days when you would say you are crush­ing on some­one, sin­gle or com­mit­ted — now you could be bread­crumb­ing, bench­ing, ghost­ing or even haunt­ing. Con­fused, right? So were we. But here’s a guide to help you get a hang of the mod­ern dat­ing terms.


This one has been around for quite a while but for those who don’t know, bae is Be­fore Any­one Else. Peo­ple of­ten use the term ro­man­ti­cally, but any­one could be your bae – your best friend, pet, or your food (Ba­con and eggs, any­one?).


Re­mem­ber all the flirty mes­sages in your In­sta­gram or Face­book in­box from peo­ple you don’t know? What they’re do­ing is called slid­ing. Slid­ing into your in­box, and, if they’re lucky enough, into your lives. This is peo­ple mak­ing the best use of tech­nol­ogy.


This one’s sim­ple — think of them be­ing flaky to­wards you. If some­one who makes you feel like love could blos­som, but they refuse to com­mit, they’re bread­crumb­ing on you. It is all the flirty mes­sages never lead­ing up to any­thing.


This one’s a lit­tle like sports team re­serves — you get put on the ‘bench’ when there are other op­tions avail­able. So if you haven’t had the talk yet about your re­la­tion­ship sta­tus, you could to­tally be benched.


You guys are hook­ing up or dat­ing... but you don’t know what ex­actly the sta­tus is. Are you guys ca­sual or se­ri­ous? Are you ex­clu­sive? This is when you need to DTR – de­fine the re­la­tion­ship. It may seem scary but who wants mind games and mixed sig­nals?


This is where you end con­tact with­out any heads up, texts or talks what­so­ever. You could be do­ing this to a friend, to a po­ten­tial love, or your bae. Peo­ple usu­ally re­sort to ghost­ing when they want to avoid giv­ing an ex­pla­na­tion or drama — that is not to say that it is right to do so.


Think of this like a mon­key swing­ing from one branch to an­other with­out stop­ping. Those who jump from one re­la­tion­ship to an­other with­out giv­ing any breaks in be­tween are said to be monkeying. It could be a re­bound sit­u­a­tion, a bro­ken heart, com­mit­ment is­sues or the fear of be­ing lonely that could lead a per­son to in­dulge in back-to-back re­la­tion­ships.


We’re all guilty of it. When you de­cide you don’t want some­one in your life, and you start dis­tanc­ing your­self slowly, it’s called slow fad­ing. This could be de­layed replies to your texts, gen­tle re­fusals to go out on dates, and far and fewer phone calls. While the slow faders think they’re be­ing gen­tle and con­sid­er­ate, this is never easy on the one who is be­ing given the fad­ing treat­ment.


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