How to find out if you’re dat­ing a com­mit­ment-phobe

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - HT City | Time Out -

Get­ting into a se­ri­ous re­la­tion­ship is it­self a ma­jor de­ci­sion. But what if your part­ner falls into the most dreaded of all dat­ing cat­e­gories — com­mit­ment pho­bic? A list by re­la­tion­ship ex­pert Tracey Cox can help you spot some­one with a fear of com­mit­ment, and what you can do to pre­vent get­ting hurt, re­ported The In­de­pen­dent.

Peo­ple with these traits tend to be afraid of be­ing hurt be­cause of their ex­pe­ri­ence of past re­la­tion­ships. If they have been in a pre­vi­ous re­la­tion­ship that ended badly or their par­ents sep­a­rated ven­omously they might be less likely com­mit out of fear.

Sim­i­larly, a string of short-term re­la­tion­ships — al­ways want­ing to be in con­trol and not want­ing to make plans — should send warn­ing sig­nals.

The re­la­tion­ship ex­pert high­lights that com­mit­ment­phobes can be “ul­tra­charm­ing” to be­gin with but once they’ve got you, that fades away. They also tend to put their needs first, re­frain from shar­ing in­ti­mate de­tails and are likely to panic at the mere men­tion of the word ‘com­mit­ment’.

Still not con­vinced whether or not your part­ner is hold­ing back? Cox says that most com­mit­ment phobes have prob­lems oblig­ing to pretty much any­thing. So, if they don’t pay bills or are al­ways late, this could be why.

If you re­alise that you’re dat­ing a com­mit­ment phobe, don’t try to change to ac­com­mo­date them, she ad­vises. “They ei­ther want you, or they don’t!”

PHOTO: ISTOCK

If you re­alise that you’re dat­ing a com­mit­ment-phobe, don’t try to change to ac­com­mo­date them

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