‘Ac­cep­tance takes time — vic­tory to the pa­tient’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - LIFESTYLE -

While watch­ing a movie I slept be­side my brother-in-law. And, in the mid­dle of night I felt his hand touch­ing my up­per pri­vate parts. I did not re­sist and pre­tended to sleep. Now, I feel guilty for not re­sist­ing. He is the first man to touch me. Should I talk to him? How should I free my­self from this guilt? MN MN, this is the ques­tion that plagued Prince Ham­let, who in or­der to keep his fine fig­ure, couldn’t de­cide about his break­fast meal. Thus, came about the world’s most fa­mous mono­logue, (af­ter Don­ald Trump’s ‘there are no Mex­i­cans here’). You may re­call it as ‘To Be or Not To Be’. How­ever, in the orig­i­nal, it is ac­tu­ally, ‘To eat or not to eat’. MN, you seemed to have been in the same stu­por, as Prince Ham­let, al­though in his case it was his un­cle touch­ing his pri­vate parts, and not his brother-in-law. If you want to end the mat­ter, I sug­gest don’t say any­thing. Of course, if he tries any un­brother-in-law­like be­hav­iour in the fu­ture, please be firm, frank and forth­right. Me and my friend have a crush on a girl. She has blocked my friend and stopped talk­ing to me. I wanted to con­vince her to speak to me, but she has a friend who may be poi­son­ing her mind. Should I ex­press my feel­ings to her, be­cause my friend may not like it? RK RK, what’s your plan here? To start a cor­po­ra­tion? Sell Eq­uity in the form of love shares? All those in­ter­ested in the same girl ap­ply now? If so, please re­mem­ber that mu­tual funds are prone to mar­ket risks and ‘con­di­tions’ al­ways ap­ply. This com­mu­nity love thing is a very hard sell. You can’t all like one girl. That doesn’t work for desserts, for­get ro­mance. First you and your friend need to fig­ure out — who likes who. But, be­fore you get ex­cited and chase down this poor help­less damsel, have you given a thought to the fact that she’s not in­ter­ested in ei­ther of you, as her ac­tion of block­ing him, and ig­nor­ing you, seems to sug­gest? So, be­fore you start your love com­pany, find out what she feels. It looks like she is ab­so­lutely un­in­clined to­wards you, your friends, your rel­a­tives, their friends, their friend’s rel­a­tives, and their rel­a­tive’s friends. I have been dat­ing this guy for the last 3 years. We love each other a lot. But, I am scared of my fam­ily and I have lied to them about my boyfriend. What should I do? NK NK, let me be­gin by telling you a story. Okay, I’ve for­got­ten that story, so let me tell you an­other one. The sage Dashyan­tha, in an ef­fort to over­come fear, dug a hole in the ground, and stuck his head in it. His goal was to stay like this for 40 days. This would cause him to elim­i­nate the feel­ing of fear. And you know what? It worked. Af­ter 40 days, he con­quered fear. Sadly, due to this po­si­tion, his body has as­sumed this look per­ma­nently — head un­der his knees and his pos­te­rior where his face formerly was. You need to over­come your own fears. Think of them as your par­ents. Think of all the nice things they’ve done for you. Ap­peal to their good­ness, and don’t re­act to their emo­tional rant­ings. Ac­cep­tance takes time — vic­tory to the pa­tient. As my doctor falsely ad­ver­tises: don’t run away from them. In­stead, turn them to­ward you. Just al­ways as­sume an up­right con­ven­tional body po­si­tion when you do so. I moved in with my eight step­broth­ers last year. All of them are hand­some enough. Coin­ci­den­tally, one of them was my class­mate. Now, all of them have fallen for me and pro­posed to me. I don’t know why. How­ever, I see them only as broth­ers. I can’t af­ford to break their hearts by re­fus­ing. What should I do? Sab­rina Sab­rina, are you in some erotic French film, or are you for real? Do you have a genuine French ac­cent? I can’t tell your ac­cent from your writ­ing. What are the chances that a per­son has 8 step-broth­ers? And then what are the chances that all 8 broth­ers will pro­pose to you? By the way, step brother means you share one bi­o­log­i­cal par­ent. So half sib­lings gen­er­ally don’t con­sum­mate re­la­tion­ships, un­less they are chim­panzees, where I’m told it’s the pre­ferred re­la­tion­ship. I would run away from this sit­u­a­tion, and refuse all 8. But I can’t tell you what you should do — that only you or a chim­panzee can do.

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