‘It’s talking and walking which later lead to rocking’

I have been married for the last 10 years. Now, I get attracted to other married women. I feel like having affairs with them. Is this normal? AB

This would be a normal question but as the philosopher Mario DE Cervantes said, “What really is normal?” You see AB, for a murderer, murder is normal, for murdered person, not so normal. For Guru Ram Rahim female bodyguards were normal, for members of parliament, female bodyguards are still to be utilized as an option. So, let’s call your love for other married women, as your ‘thing’. My suggestion is avoid. Not from a moral point of view, but more importantly from a logistical point of view. It’s too complicated, and involves too many people. So be ‘normal’ have your crushes, but try not to act on them. Before I started dating my girlfriend she was my friend. We had a large friend circle. She was very close to other men in the group. But, I ended up dating her. She is still close to my friends. Her closeness to other men in the group is making me jealous. I love her and don’t want to lose her, especially to another friend. What should I do? MM

MM, Anirudh Palia in his book, “how to cure insecurity and scale Mount Everest at the same time”, has answered your question. Instead, of being insecure, why don’t you try to create your own aide of mostly female friends? A sort of fan club dedicated to you. Don’t you think you deserve it? If you are as popular with ladies as she is with men, it’ll keep you both on your toes. Competition is healthy in romance.

A girl has been staring at me everyday, for more than six months, This happens at least thrice a week. I see her at the bus stop. Now, I think, I have fallen in love with her. But, I am not sure if it is really love. Is it possible to fall in love with someone without talking or having contact? Confused

A long stare is greatly undervalued by people in spite of all the other evidence. When she stares, you need to check only two things (a) if she’s drunk. Drunkness makes one stare without blinking, (b) If someone is being mugged right behind you. In which case that’s what she’s starring at. So make a move, but don’t jump into love shove as yet. Say hello, get her talking. Remember it’s talking, walking, which later leads to rocking. My parents want me to have an arranged marriage because I have never dated anyone. Also, I am not interested in marrying a girl through arranged marriage. I would rather woo a girl and get married to her. I have registered myself on many dating websites. But, I haven’t managed to date anyone so far. What should I do?

TM

TM, this process is a patience game. If you want a crack at it, with your own effort please do so. Meaning the prospective women will need to be very patient. So, give yourself some time, don’t put so much pressure, what’s the hurry? Enjoy the process. Generally one only gets married three or four times in one’s lifetime. Make it count.