‘Examine the evidence’

CYRUS BROACHA I am in love with a girl from my college. The problem is both of us are introverts. This is our last year in college. So, I want to speak to her anyhow. Please help. AG

AG, for a case where both parties are introverts, I recommend sign language. Luckily, by studying the career of footballer Dan Harris, we may come up with some answers. Or probably not. Luckily AG, you live in the electronic age. Muster up some courage to just say ‘Hi’ to her and then switch to catching her on a social network . The internet has been the messiah for introverts, loners, creeps, and deviants. Once she knows who you are, you can switch to the internet and see where it goes.

I have met a girl recently. Whenever I look at her, I see her as a cupcake. Can I eat her up? AS

This is the most intelligent question ever written to me. So, I will give you an intelligent answer. You can’t eat her, and I’ll give you a scientific reason why. You see, she’s not really a cupcake. If you go to the bakery, and compare her and a genuine cupcake, you’ll see the difference. You are not alone in these thoughts though. For example, the Karni Sena imagines Padmavati to be something else altogether. So, please stop asking these questions and if you continue to do so, then could you add another S to your name, AS?

I’ve had four boyfriends till date and all of them have cheated on me. I have a childhood friend and we both are interested in each other. I am not that good looking and I am nervous. Should I take a chance?

Tony Stark

Tony, firstly, should I assume you’re a girl? Or would that be politically incorrect? I don’t understand why you mentioned the four boyfriends though? The famous highway man Pierre Ernest had 4,057 girlfriends, and not all of them were just in his head . With the childhood friend, you say you’re nervous? Nervous of what? That he’ll turn into a grizzly bear? Of course, you should take a chance. Four mistakes should not turn you into a cynic. They did wonders for author Chetan Bhagat, for instance. Please try again. Love is not for the fainthearted, as ND Tiwari may have once told me.

My boyfriend broke up with me last year and he didn’t give me a reason. Recently, he was present at a New Year’s party and followed me everywhere. And, when I was going home, he wanted to say something. But I left without hearing him out. He is clearly into me again and I, too, enjoyed his attention. I don’t know what to do if he proposed to me again.

Perplexed Juliet

Are you sure this is Romeo? ‘Cause he sounds more like Roadside Raghu. Examine the evidence. He breaks up with you for no reason and just turns his back on you. I hope you had measles or mumps or dengue at the time, otherwise he sounds ridiculous. Then, a few months later, he started chasing you again. Perhaps because you no longer have measles or mumps and dengue. You think he deserves a second chance ? I think it all depends on his reason for the break up. If he was told by the Mafia to not to speak to you, for instance, then, yes, in that case he would deserve a second chance.

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