‘For a generation’s sake, curtail your WhatsApp’

I have been married for four years, and in all these years, my wife has never had any friends. Recently, she has been frequently talking on WhatsApp to a new friend, who she claims is a woman. And, since I don’t want to intrude too much into her life, I have decided not to check her phone to find out the truth. But, I am feeling insecure. Please help. Nirav

Nirav, the only person I know who hasn’t had any friends in the past four years is Kim Jong Un. Although he had two Goldfish who were deemed as semi-friends, till he felt the urgent need to eat them. I think you need to give your wife a little rope. Even if it’s a male friend, don’t jump the gun and search for the cheapest divorce lawyer. If she’s a little socially backward, allow her some space to come a little forward. After a while you can gently ask about the friend, suggest that you also ‘friend’ him or her. But for now, allow her a little growth, and stop panicking.

My girlfriend of two years, recently broke up with me. She is now dating a different guy in the college. But, I have got to know that when she was dating me, she was two timing me for a long time with a different guy, not her current boyfriend. I feel hurt and I want to confront her about this. Should I? Mitesh

What you are saying Mitesh makes as much sense as, if after the 1983 World Cup finals, and after a gap of ten years, say 1993, Clive Lloyd, the West Indies Great, called Kapil Dev up and asked him to return the World Cup to the West Indies, because on that day in 1983 Viv Richards back was paining, so, it was an unfair contest! This girl has gone from your life. It’s not your business. Get rid of her from your mind. Unless she plans on joining a terrorist outfit, please don’t report her, or confront her. Now put your right hand up and swear you will forget about her, but please make sure your other hand is holding your pant in place.

A few months back, I got a friend request on facebook. But, since I don’t accept strangers’ friend request, I deleted it. A few days later, my friend got a friend request from this girl. And, now they are the best of friends and he says, he will soon propose to her. I feel jealous because I like this girl. What should I do? NR

You should do what I do. Firstly, get someone else to run your facebook. Why have more responsibilities in life? I find scratching and going to the toilet, taxing enough. NR, it’s fine that you didn’t accept a stranger’s request. But now, don’t waste any time. Before you ask your male friend to hit the pause button, you need to get the girl to like you na? Since she tried to initiate contact, you actually may be in with a chance. So I suggest you become, China; that is, learn to compete. Let her know you are interested; start by explaining your action of ‘not’ accepting her request, and suggest you start all over again.

I am madly in love with my boyfriend. But, I don’t know if he loves me as much as I do. I am very possessive of him; I like to talk to him all the time on WhatsApp. I don’t know if my behaviour is driving him away from me. Is this normal? TS

TS, it’s not your problem alone. It’s a generation’s problem — this talking on WhatsApp all the time. Whatever happened to the other pastimes of life! You know like reading, writing, pie-throwing contest, knocking knees together, holding your breath under water, eyebrow threading, towel pulling... I mean the list is endless. There are so many more things to do in life than just WhatsApp, non-stop. So, not just for his sake, but for my sake, for a generation’s sake, for our home minister, Rajnath Singh’s sake, curtail your WhatsApp, and find other outlets. Instead of suffocating him, free yourself from the chains of WhatsApp. I mean have you even heard of Instagram, for instance?