Hindustan Times (Patna) - Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live
IT’S ALL ABOUT THAT SPACE
New relationships can be fun, provided you don't become too clingy. Experts talk about how to give each other enough space and stay happy
New couples can be inseparable, but that’s understandable — love makes everything about your significant other seem amazing and exciting. But, no matter how much you love hanging out with each other, it is important to establish boundaries and make sure you and your partner both have lives outside the relationship. However, with the accelerated adoption of smartphones and invasive social media, it has become increasingly hard to have ample space in a relationship, especially when it’s new. To find a way to navigate these rough waters, we spoke to experts for tips on how to give each other space while enjoying the new phase of a relationship.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
It is always advisable at any stage of a relationship, new or old, to give space to your partner. Dr Alpes Panchal says, “Your partner might do a particular thing in their way, which might not be how you do it. But, that doesn’t mean it's wrong. Maybe, it takes more time and maybe you can see they will make a mistake. You can warn your partner, but not make decisions for him or her. For example, they might not see the merit of a particular thing they’re buying, and might just buy it because it looks or feels good. You need to give your partner enough space to have a healthy relationship."
Set boundaries about what you want to share with your in-laws, friends, and extended family members. Sonali Tanksale, clinical psychologist, says, “Spend time together and be patient with one another. Remember that you belong to the same team. Respect each other even when you have different opinions.”
BEING A TEAM
Learning to give in a little is equally important in a relationship. Experts say that irrespective of the duration of your relationship, you will always be caught in situations where you will have disagreements. Tanksale says, "The point is not to avoid arguments, as it is important to pick up fights and take turns in making decisions. Listen to each other’s perspectives and try to give in a little. Avoid blaming each other. This is not about being right or about always wining an argument; it is about being a team. There will always be problems and things that go wrong, and how you choose to handle them will define your relationship. Don’t be afraid of arguments. Arguments can be healthy. Instead of screaming to put across your point, have a constructive argument.”
It is also advised that one should take a break from an argument if he or she feels like they are losing their temper. Wait for your partner to calm down and use the time to think of what you can say.
DON’T BE CLINGY
To not appear too clingy, one must decide to take responsibility for the smaller decisions. Dr Panchal says, “You might want to consult your partner about everything, but that’s not always the best thing to do. You also don't need to constantly check on your partner. Trust is important in a new relationship, and unless something has gone wrong, you need to be trusting and not project your fears onto your partner.”
GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
Communication does not mean that you talk to your spouse non-stop. Instead, it means that one should set aside time to connect every day. “Get to know each other during the time that you have set aside for each other. Talk about music, food, weather and whatever else is important in your life. If you can, try to eat dinner with your spouse every night. If work schedules make it difficult to have dinner together, try breakfast or lunch instead. If you get in the habit of making time for each other, it'll be easier to preserve that connection as time progresses,” says Tanksale.