Manoj Bajpayee’s secret to success is his obstinacy

anoj Bajpayee’s journey has been filled with equal parts failure and acclaim. Launched into stardom in 1998 with Ram Gopal Verma’s Satya after years of featuring in minor roles, the actor says that it’s his stubbornness that has kept him going.

“It has been a roller-coaster ride. It has tested me on several levels. Most of the actors in my place would have run away, would have chosen a different path. But I am obstinate,” Bajpayee says.

“I don’t bow down to situations so easily. I am very convinced about what I want to do. Whether I achieve it or not, I believe in trying till the end. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn’t. That’s the gamble you take,” he adds.

The journey from Satya to Gali Guleiyan — his latest release — was difficult but taught him the meaning of success in the industry.

“Success to me means the freedom to do what one wants to. When you’re not doing well, everybody is compelling you to go in some direction that you don’t want to go. With success, recognition, and acclaim, people start following you,” he explains.

Though instantly hailed as the poster boy of indie cinema in the ’90s and early 2000s, Bajpayee insists that he never craved to be a star.

“I was never fascinated by stardom. Hundred people chasing you for autograph was never my scene. My scene is breaking the barriers and limitations of my own self as an actor and finding a new ground,” he said.

One might assume that after all these years and several national and international awards, a certain sense of surety would creep into an artist’s work. However, Bajpayee believes it’s not possible in indie cinema. “Every subject which comes your way is loaded with lots of challenges, that you can’t be sure of yourself. You can fall sick and have sleepless nights if you take it seriously,” he says.

Something similar happened with Gali Guleiyan, a psychological drama, where he portrays a man trapped in the lanes of Delhi, and his mind. “Getting into this character made me really sick. I wasn’t merely acting. When you’re doing this kind of stuff, it takes so much out of you. But that’s the only way to achieve the desired response,” he says, adding, “Getting into the zone of a character so much that I forget myself is my high. It is quite scary but that’s the beauty of being an actor. At times it leaves you with bruises, and other times, it heals you with satisfaction.”