Too busy to have babies?

Is your desire to have children taking a back seat to your professional career? Experts say the clock is ticking

Arguably, in today’s world, money is the driving force behind many of our decisions. The more money you have, the better is your lifestyle. There are many ways to earn some big bucks, but the most common taken is by climbing the professional ladder. Keeping this in mind, these days, achieving professional success is more important to many of us than anything else. In fact, in pursuit of this goal, many couples are pushing the decision to have children into their late thirties.

Swati Popat Vats, educator and parenting counsellor, says that she has indeed seen a surge in such couples. She says, “Yes, it’s true that a lot of people are delaying their decision to have children. One of the main reasons is that, both of them are working. Many couples these days, contemplate having a child, while others don’t want to have children at all.”

She adds, “Also, there are a lot of options available these days — you can freeze your eggs or you can even opt for a surrogate. So, people are not in a hurry to have children. I know a lot of couples who have decided not to have children, but opt for kids later under societal and familial pressures.”

THE RIGHT TIME

Deciding the right time to have a child may be a difficult decision when your sole aim is to earn money. Child psychiatrist Manjiri Deshpande says that this policy has its pros and cons. She says, “The decision to have a kid is a personal choice. But considering the psychological and ovulation aspects, the right time to have kids is by the age of 32, since fertility starts decreasing once women cross this age.”

Explaining how a woman might face complications in conceiving, she says, “A couple in their mid-thirties, dealing with their first-time pregnancy, have lower odds of successfully conceiving. And, even if the woman conceives, her pregnancy is more likely to be uncomfortable. The apt time for a woman to conceive is preferably when she is in her mid-twenties or latest in her early thirties.”

EARLY PARENTHOOD

Bearing children at an early age can also be beneficial in many ways. Fatima Agarkar, educationist, says, “The younger you are, the more options you have of planning for more children.” For example, if you are married at a younger age and then have children, by the time you are 30, your kids wouldn’t be completely dependent on you, thereby, giving you scope to focus on your professional life.

Vidisha Chavan, an IT professional, and Mukund Pawar, a graphic designer, met while working for a travel agency. After dating for a year, they tied the knot in their early 20s. Soon, the couple were parents to a child. Pawar says, “After her maternity leave, Vidisha decided to take a break from work. Also, my office was closer to my house, and I would save a lot of time. I was able to give more time to my child, as my wife found it difficult to manage both. This is why I didn’t change my job for a long time.” A few years later, when his child started going to school, the duo hired a nanny. Vidisha and Mukund, both nearing 30 now, are in stable jobs now and are focussing completely on their careers, while the nanny takes care of their son during the day.

LATE PARENTHOOD

Conceiving kids at an older age has its own benefits and drawbacks. In fact, Deshpande says that these days, this kind of parenthood is seen as ‘wise’ by the society. She says, “Due to today’s socio-economic factors, having a kid at a later age is considered as a wise decision because by this time couples have already fulfilled most of their necessities such as buying a house, accumulating enough funds required to raise their kids and becoming stable in their respective careers. However, when one chooses to have kids late in life, the fertility of a woman is impacted due to the decreasing ovulation cycle, which adversely affects the emotional stability of the woman.”

I know a lot of couples who have decided not to have children, but opt for kids later under societal and family pressures.

SWATI POPAT VATS, EDUCATOR AND PARENTING COUNSELLOR