‘Tell your parents that traditions were started by people just like them’

I am a 29-year-old man and I’ve been married for a year now. It was a love marriage, so I had to convince my parents. However, now, they keep arguing about how they will not consider my partner’s culture or traditions. How should I make them understand? NK

In an ideal world, you could do one of three things. (a) Levy a fine on your parents, (b) Make them undergo cultural tuitions, and (c) Exchange them for her parents, or any significantly richer parents. However, this is not an ideal world, as Ambati Rayudu and Rishabh Pant found out. You have to explain to your parents as if they were your children. I mean, obviously, try not to use the word ‘beta’. Other than that speak softly, slowly yet firmly. Explain to them that cultural traditions were started by someone just like themselves, and don’t have to be taken too seriously. If this was the Olympics, the family would get the gold medal. Investments in Fixed Deposit would get the silver. Culture and tradition would have to fight for the bronze. NK, get them to realise that they are thinking with their egos and not their hearts. For romance and India both to survive, ‘Jisko Jaisa’, is the only philosophy. Now send them to their rooms.

I am a 25-year-old woman and I’ve been dating a guy for the last three years. I am sure about settling down with him. However, the problem is that I keep feeling insecure when he doesn’t give me priority. Whereas, I’ve always chosen him over anything else. Is it okay to be so insecure and demanding? AU

The specific question to be asked here, AU, is what exactly are you insecure about? Are you insecure about his love for cricket? For coloured socks? For traffic policemen? Chun Yat Pop, the father of modern dancing, left his wife when he discovered she was obsessed with acrylic. He came home from a tour one day to find the whole house had been covered in acrylic, including his parents. So, you see AU, the specific cause of your insecurity, is the key. So continue to be insecure, I say, but unless it’s another woman, and by that I mean, his mother as well, don’t overreact. Let me assure you that if you were insecure about his love for plants, another woman may be a little harder to handle, and his mother may be even harder than that. And his mother’s plant… you see there’s no end to it.

I am a 28-year-old woman and I recently got married. However, since it’s an arranged marriage, I’ve never got to know him much. I am happy in the alliance, but I’m still not comfortable in certain things and situations, which he doesn’t understand at times. How should we get to know each other faster without tampering our relationship? DD

Jaidev Thakeria in his movie ‘JT presents’, explains it all. He uses the metaphor of the car. The couple, gets married and buys a car on the same day. By spending time together driving the car, they break in both, their relationship, and the car. Then one thing leads to another, and the girl gets besotted. So, she realises she loves the car more. She leaves the husband and runs away with the car. DD, it’s pretty simple. Arrange or love, he’s a new product. You need to test the product in all conditions. You guys need to hang out more and more. Alone, with people, with family, with strangers on a holiday, in regular situations, as well as some irregular ones. And remember, first get to know each other, before you buy a car.

I am a 22-year-old boy and I like a girl in my class. However, I am not sure if she is single or not. I’m always the nervous one when it comes to striking a conversation. How should I approach her to know her? SU

SU, in 2019, it is so simple to find out if someone’s single. All you need, (and this is a secret I’m giving you), is a name. Yup, that’s it, a name. Then all the information you need is available on this thing called, the World Wide Web. You should check it out. For example, my cousin had a crush on Prince William of England. At the click of a button, he found out that not only was his friend request turned down, but also that Prince William was happily married, for now. But since my obsessive cousin continued to probe, he is now on a UK no fly list, and is wanted by Interpol. Which is a source of great pride at family get together, for us all. SU, here’s a trick, ask for something. Ask to borrow a pen or paper or a book. It’ll be easier to move from that actual base of goods being exchanged. Trading may lead to loving, but first establish contact, you have the whole classroom at your disposal.