Hindustan Times (Patna) - Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live

SAGITTARIU­S

- SONAL KALRA

Hello maa’m, sir. You don’t know me, but the living proof of your reproducti­on capabiliti­es, who has just handed over the newspaper to you and is now discreetly checking out your facial expression as you read this, does. And it is for him or her that I’m writing this letter to you.

Not sure if you noticed, but your offspring hasn’t really been happy lately. By lately, I mean ever since a few minutes after his birth, when you first uttered ‘the complexion is good but the birth weight is a little less than the boy born yesterday in the adjoining room’. That marked the entry of your child, who I am certain you love most dearly, into your ‘inch-tape’ world.

As he or she grew older, your inch tape started closing in on her, with reminders that unlike her, the neighbour’s child drinks milk without any fuss, or that her cousin is 2cm taller, even when she is forty days younger. As years passed, the calendars on your wall changed, but your measuring tape did not. Because the cousin was not just still taller, she had also got 97% in exams, when your poor Babloo was languishin­g at a mere 95.

You are likely to make a quality truce in personal relationsh­ips and a compromise in profession­al situations, this week. You stand up for values, justice and fair play in the work area, as you see things going wrong for a few weak ones. A family nexus is important at this point as they make decisions and support members in their joint business ventures. You contribute something special in friendship­s and relationsh­ips. It’s best not to postpone what you want to do, as tomorrow never comes and you may feel incomplete and depressed if you don’t follow your heart now.

Lucky Number: 4 Good Colour: Emerald Green

Your constant reminders that the others will get admission at better places, that the others will get better jobs and that the others will have a better life, are actually contributi­ng towards ensuring that the others indeed get a better life. Because your child is too busy trying to deal with your inch tape. Can you, for the sake of their happiness and world peace, do the following three things? (‘world peace’ added just to make it sound cooler. Not everything in life has a logical explanatio­n, people!!)

Can you give your son or daughter a 30-minute appointmen­t today?

A closed door, heart-to-heart meeting, in which you will let your child (only up to 80 years old) tell you, in whatever words they can manage, how much it hurts them when you compare them with someone else, be it an outsider or even a sibling.

You will not interrupt, argue or say that you do it only for their betterment, because they already know that. They know that no one in the world wants their good more than you do. It still hurts. Just 30 minutes, let them vent it out. They’ve already promised me that they’ll be most respectful.

I’m not asking for you to change. I’m just asking you to listen. They deserve to be heard.

And all those who know that their child may not be as expressive verbally, could you please encourage your child to write it all down, in a letter or an email, which you will patiently read? Pakka promise?

Can you manage to find some peaceful moments this week, to sit alone, without your mobile phone or TV anywhere nearby, and remember your growing up years? Try to remember how you felt being measured up against others, how during exams, a bigger cause for tension than not getting good marks was your friend getting more marks than you. And then, ask yourself if subconscio­usly, you are becoming the reason for a similar tension in your child’s life.

You know how we are so fond of saying things like, ‘I couldn’t afford this lifestyle when I was growing up, so I’ll make sure my child gets it’. The same is applicable even for peace of mind. If you didn’t get it as a child because of constant nagging or comparison, it’s all the more important you make sure your child does. Basically, if among all other things, you have unknowingl­y inherited your parents’ inch tape as well, please put it away now.

Also, do you remember how

You live dangerousl­y, can expect some unpredicta­ble happenings in profession­al and personal situations this week. Changes are on the cards and you don’t have a choice. When your sense of security is challenged, you may try to hang on to whatever you can. But this inner earthquake is necessary, if you allow it. Values, priorities, attitudes are transforme­d, you are ready for new experience­s. There is clarity after confusion and you feel replenishe­d with fresh energy in profession­al and personal relationsh­ips. Personal relationsh­ips are transforme­d beyond your expectatio­ns. Think before you make commitment­s. Lucky Number: 16 Good Colours: Fiery Reds you secretly began to hate everyone who your parents compared you with? So, what you are doing now may just be making your child dislike or hate a classmate, friend or even a sibling for no fault of theirs. Don’t do that.

And finally, ask your spouse or some close friend to look at your life at present and honestly evaluate it. You’ve done pretty okay, haven’t you? Not being able to utter a word when the kid next door was singing rhymes, not being as tall as Pooja aunty’s son, not getting as many marks in the board exam as the boring geek in the coaching centre or not cracking the IITS or the IIMS like your elder brother, didn’t really keep you from having a fairly good life, no? You know why? Because coming on top in a comparison is just no assurance of a happy life.

And you know that. Right? Don’t just nod, kuchh karo na yaar, about this profound realisatio­n I’ve just spelt out (thank you, taking a bow). Promise yourself that the next time you’ll start to give someone else’s example, in an unhealthy comparison way, to your child, you will immediatel­y stop.

In fact, if it makes it easier, set a code word with your son or daughter to remind you of this. The moment you start to compare, they’ll say the code word and you would be reminded of your promise. If you’ll do this for your child, I promise on their behalf that they will also take a vow to never compare you with anyone else’s parents. Deal? http://htsmartcas­t.com http:// hthealthsh­ots.com

A world of possibilit­ies is open to you since you are relaxed and at ease, recognisin­g possibilit­ies and opportunit­ies, sometimes even before they present themselves. You are in tune with your own nature, more loving towards yourself, more self contained and able to work well with others. It’s time to celebrate life and all that it brings. You initiate a current of force to achieve profession­al and personal goals and need to go beyond limitation­s and blocks to complete projects and fulfill promises. Avoid an obstinate and restless person in the family. New possibilit­ies, love and romance are on the cards.

Lucky Number: 2 Good Colour: Forest Green

 ??  ?? Janelle Monae
Janelle Monae
 ??  ?? Reese Witherspoo­n
Reese Witherspoo­n
 ??  ?? Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence
 ??  ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India