ARE YOU A SERIAL MONOGAMIST?
Humans have practised monogamy — having a relationship with only one partner — since eternity. But when a person is never single, and is in another relationship as soon as the previous one ends, it is called serial monogamy. Good or bad, we decode the pattern.
What is it?
A person who is in subsequent monogamous relationships without any breaks between the two, may be referred to as a serial monogamist. This pattern of constantly jumping from one relationship to another is not necessarily healthy. According to experts, it is imperative to take a break between romantic relationships.
Why does it happen?
There could be multiple reasons why some people engage in this practice, ranging from their psychological history to distinct personality traits.
Low self-worth: People with low self-worth might believe that their single status is a display of their inadequacy, and the attention of a partner will support them to feel more worthy.
Trauma: At times, unresolved trauma could manifest hurdles in handling conflict or openly communicating with a partner. This might cause an individual to adopt patterns of serial monogamy.
Discontentment: The constant feeling of dissatisfaction from your current partner.
FOMO: Perpetual thoughts like ‘I may get something more’, ‘What if I find someone better’ and being on the lookout, without investing time and efforts in your present relationship, could push someone into the pattern.
Extremist: If one breaks up with their partner at the first instance of a flaw or falls in love with someone faster because they seem perfect to them, they are a serial monogamist.
The verdict
This personality trait cannot objectively be termed as good or bad because it is based on individual choices and may look different for everyone. But, there are definitely both sides to it. As a serial monogamist, one is always ready to start afresh, which, unknowingly, can become emotionally exhausting and cause an emotional burnout. They may feel anxious or uneasy while staying alone or single. Such people are often over-involved in their relationships and as a result, often lose out on other loved ones in their lives, like friends and family.
Breaking the pattern
Face your fears. For a serial monogamist, it may be difficult to spend time by themselves or dealing with difficult phases of life alone. So, by doing exactly that, they can come out of this unending cycle. Develop a hobby that you enjoy alone. Invest in platonic relationships. Make more friends without trying to date them.
(Inputs from clinical psychologist Kamna Chhibber and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo)
Never single and always on the lookout for a partner? There is a name to this pattern