Decoded: Reasons why people struggle to leave unhealthy relationships
Leaving a relationship is a big step — often a result of years of contemplation — even if the bond is toxic and is hampering one’s emotional well-being. A combination of factors are at play that make a person stay in an unhealthy relationship.
In a social media post, psychotherapist Emily H Sanders addressed the issue and wrote, “The truth is, leaving a relationship is a process. It takes time. Sometimes it takes a LOT of time, as many chosen life transitions do (sic).” She noted down a few reasons which make people struggle to leave unhealthy relationships.
Change: Sometimes, one hopes their partner to change for the better. This wait makes them stay back.
Children: When there are children involved, the stakes seem higher, and worrying for the kids makes a couple reconsider breaking up.
Financial dependence: When one is not financially secure and depends on the partner for money and resources, it can get increasingly difficult to leave the relationship.
Investment: We often feel that we have invested a lot of time, energy and emotions in the relationship and if we leave, it all may just get wasted.
Nostalgia: The relationship may have started on a great note. So, we often go back to those moments and try to hold on to the memory, hoping that the happy phase will return.
Confusion: Things may seem great one moment, and the next moment, they might not. This confusion can make one cling to the partner.
Worry: Worries of not being able to find another person can also make someone stay back in an unhealthy relationship.
Grief: The thought of going through heartbreak can be scary and hold a person back.
Concern: Concern for the partner, and what they may go through if one leaves them, can also make one stay.
Blaming oneself: In toxic relationships, the partner can often make one feel that the problem is with them. This makes one try to fix themselves, hoping for better and happier days.
Family’s advice: Often, friends and families, who are perhaps not aware of the toxicity, advise a person to stay back in the relationship, influencing their decision.
Lowered expectation: When one fails to get what they are looking for, they
may try to lower their expectations and adjust in the present relationship.