Ambassadors Of Love

Meet the parents of LGBTQIA+ children who went through their own journeys to acceptance

For many parents, a boy loving a boy and a girl loving a girl and a boy loving both or a girl wanting to be a boy is beyond strange. It’s. Just. Wrong. When faced with their children’s sexualities, parents find it hard to come to terms with anything that is not heteronormative.

But some parents are different. Some parents understand that love cannot and will not be restricted. Some accept their children for who they are right away. And some not only plant themselves firmly in their child’s corner, but actively campaign for others to do the same.

Today, HT Brunch turns the spotlight on a few of these parents, taking you on their journeys towards acceptance.

That’s my boy

Paras Tomar, Actor-entrepreneur & Capt KRS Tomar, Merchant Navy

Paras is bisexual but never came out to his father; he just introduced him to his very first boyfriend.

His father’s reaction? “He didn’t think that guy was hot enough,” laughs Paras.

“I already knew,” says Capt Tomar. “I never asked him, he never told me, and it wasn’t required. Whatever Paras wants, I’m here to support him.”

“Article 377 has been decriminalised,” Capt Tomar adds. “If our own Constitution accepts this, why should you have trouble accepting this?”

A wonderful world

Yuvi Acharya, Student & Satarupa Acharya, Teacher

Yuvi Acharya, 18, came out to his mother as bisexual three years ago. “I said, ‘I’m bisexual,’” says Yuvi. “She asked, ‘What’s that?’ I said, ‘I like men and women.’”

Satarupa, 42, a teacher, had to adjust to the idea and concedes that her journey is an ongoing one. “I’m still learning, I ask him questions every day,” she reveals.

But she’s also questioning her earlier thinking. “Nature created us. So, the word ‘acceptance’ is wrong. People with different sexualities are already accepted; that’s why they’re here, na?” she asks.

Girls like girls, like boys do

Sayantika, Copywriter, Tapan Majumder, (Retd) Hotelier & Mohuya Majumder, Teacher

Kolkata-based Tapan Majumder, 60, and his wife Mohuya, 59, are parents to 31-year-old Bangalore-based copywriter Sayantika, who is proud out loud.

“Sayantika never came out to me directly, but I could guess,” says Tapan, who went on his own journey of discovery. “Family members tried to make me and my wife understand that this is a mental issue, it can be treated,” he scoffs.

Luckily, Tapan had already had some exposure. “The executive director at the organisation I worked for was gay and he put a lot of emphasis on hiring LGBT people; I interacted with people at work, asked questions and then read up on the internet. I learned that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this,” he shrugs.

Stand by me

Accept your child the way they are, just love them the way they are. It’s natural and there’s nothing wrong with it. DALJEET CHADHA, Homemaker

Sanat Chadha, Student & Daljeet Chadha, Homemaker

In 2020, now 18-year-old Sanat Chadha told his mother that he identifies as gay.

“When I spoke to my husband, he said, ‘it’s just an attitude, not a disease.’ That one line changed everything,” says Sanat’s mom Daljeet, 50, a homemaker.

Together, the family is supporting each other. “He wanted to wear a sari. When I asked him why, he explained, ‘kapda ka koi gender nahi hota [clothes have no gender],” says Daljeet. “And I thought, if he wants to wear a sari, why not. Actually, he looks like me, na?”