You can’t judge my sister’s parenting on the basis of one video: Toshi Sabri

The so-called ‘child abuse’ video, which has gone viral after stinging comments on it by top cricketers, most notably Virat Kohli, shows a little girl who turns out to be the niece of Bollywood singers Toshi and Sharib Sabri. Reacting to the vitriolic criticism being directed online at the child’s mother, Toshi Sabri says that a 90-second video is no basis for judging his sister’s parenting skills. About the child, a three-yearold named Haya, he says, “Virat Kohli and Shikhar Dhawan don’t know about us. Hamare bachche ke bare mein humein pata hai naah ki hamara bachcha kaisa hai!” Toshi says that Haya would run off to play a minute after being scolded, and usually had to be pushed a bit to study. Haya’s mom made the video for her family’s Whatsapp group. She hadn’t expected this online attention. Virat’s comment on Instagram blamed the parent (not seen in the video) for ignoring “the pain and anger of the child” and alleged that “compassion has totally gone out of the window”. He also wrote: “A child can never learn if intimidated.” This post got millions of views. Yuvraj Singh, Robin Uthappa, and Shikhar Dhawan added their voice to Kohli’s criticism. Toshi responds that it’s okay for a parent to overlook the tantrums of the child if it’s for the sake of education. “Woh jo rona hota hain, woh uss moment ke liye tha, taaki usski maa usse padaaye na aur khelne de,” he says, adding that the toddler is stubborn but very precious to the family. However, people who work in mental health lean towards Virat’s opinion. Clinical psychologist Pulkit Sharma says, “Our education system and parents [are] such that we want the child to perform [in school], as that fulfils our own ego.” He also feels that making the video was “sadistic”. Dr Anil Sethi, psychologist, says, “The video shows that the whole world is after marks. A child should be enjoying the childhood. The video opens up a debate as to what path the parents are walking on.” The mother, anxious about marks, was passing on her anxiety to the child, says consulting psychiatrist Avdesh Sharma, and adds, “If we’re going to train our children in being anxious all the time, then learning won’t happen.”

Woh video ek maa ka video hai, apne bhai aur husband ko dikhaane ke liye banaya tha, ki bachchi bahut ziddi ho gayi hai TOSHI SABRI, SINGER-COMPOSER