STILL STALKING YOUR EX?

Experts opine stalking one’s ex stems from insecurity, and one has to pull out of this habit to be able to truly move on in life

If you stalk your ex despite being in a relationship, you are not the only one. A recent Norton Cyber Safety Insights study revealed that 74% of Indian adults admit to stalking and checking up on their ex.

But, why would people want to know what their exes are up to? “The need to stalk is an extreme form of insecurity. It could be a trauma response in people who might have been dumped in the relationship,” says wellness facilitator Shaira Chaudhry, adding, “You want to know how they’re doing in life, if they’ve moved on or who they’ve moved on with. Also, since people are not in touch with their exes, keeping a tab of their whereabouts gives one a false sense of connection.”

If someone still feels the need to stalk their ex despite being in a relationship, they haven’t moved on. “They’re still as insecure. The insecurity may have even increased, and they would possibly repeat patterns from their previous relationship in their present one as well,” exerts Chaudhry.

Following this, therapist Umrika Sahai adds, “One needs to acknowledge their breakup. If the chapter isn’t closed, you’ll keep circling back to it because you haven’t detached yourself from the past.”

To move on, one needs to understand that breakups are a part of life. “Acknowledging your feelings will help you let go and move on. Give yourself time to process your emotions — anger, sadness, hurt, etc,” advises Sahai.

Focusing on yourself is important, too. “Make time to meditate, journal, exercise, eat healthily, get therapy, enrol in self-development workshops and introspect... Cultivate new relationships with like-minded people,” says Chaudhry.

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