TO APOLOGISE AND YET NOT SAY SORRY

Believe it or not, I’m starting to admire Arvind Kejriwal! His apologies to a series of people he’s obviously libelled and defamed are a remarkable development and one that I, at least, thought he would not be capable of. Yet he has done it. Not once, not even twice, but multiple times.

For most of us, saying sorry is one of the most difficult things to do. To have to express it in public can make it stick in the throat. And to do all of this when you’re well-known and, therefore, aware it will attract enormous attention is enough to send shivers down your spine. Yet dear Mr. Kejriwal has done it. Each and every one of these three.

The truth is sorry is a simple word which pride does not permit most of us to use. Many feel we’re either too old, too senior, too important or, even, socially superior to deign to apologise. So even when we know we’re wrong we pretend we aren’t and carry on as if it doesn’t matter. We just don’t care about the pain and hurt we’ve caused the other person or the foolish predicament in which we’ve placed ourselves.

Now I know Kejriwal was probably motivated by the need to wriggle out of the many defamation cases he faces. He may even have been in danger of losing some of them. The financial cost that could have entailed might have been exorbitant. But none of that detracts from the fact he still had the guts to say sorry.

In contrast, many of us, though in less invidious positions, don’t have the strength of character to apologise. And let me admit I’m definitely in that category. Occasionally I may say sorry but rarely when I actually need to and only infrequently to those who really count. It’s odd, but I find the closer a person is the more difficult it becomes to say it. Conversely, it almost rolls off the tongue to those I barely know and, therefore, hardly matters. It ought to be the other way round but, in my case, it’s not. Yet saying sorry can completely change the situation. It disarms the other party, restores you to the moral high ground and goes some way to ease the pain you’ve caused. Rare is the person who won’t accept an apology even when it’s apparent it’s not sincerely meant.

In fact, apologising is a clever strategy for handling difficult situations that

IF PEOPLE DON’T EARN ENOUGH, DON’T HAVE JOBS THEY LIKE, WORRY ABOUT THEIR HEALTH, CANNOT TRUST OTHERS OR THE STATE .... HOW CAN THEY BE HAPPY?

nomic and social. There is little freedom for minorities, religious or sexual, in making their life choices. Can anyone, hand on heart, assert that people from backward castes or the poor are truly free today? The only saving grace is that they have a vote. It should be no surprise that most governments are voted out after their term in our country. This is an expression of “unhappiness” of our people, at the failure of governments in providing them a free, comfortable and safe life.

Indians are not a generous people. Our record on philanthropy, with notable exceptions, is woeful. We treat our domestic help terribly.

Perhaps because we are a poor nation slowly rising to prosperity, our primary instinct is to hoard and grow our own wealth with little regard to sharing it with the less fortunate. The great philanthropists of the world have to come down to India to tell our billionaires that they should give more.

Developed countries score far