A mere showreel for Bhai fans
During one of the many random fistfights in Race 3, Salman Khan is getting the better of his multiple opponents when he is hit with a rod. He smirks, turns to the camera and punches.
Consider that a summary of the film, because there is no plot (we know by now not to expect one), there is no direction (Remo D’Souza has clearly just gone with the flow) and there is the careless disregard for logic that most Bhai fans are now looking for in the superstar’s Eid releases.
The film opens to a scene in which Anil Kapoor is about to blow up a rival with the help of a ‘pen bomb’. Elsewhere, Khan drifts to the rescue of his family in a base-jumping wingsuit. There are racing black SUVs, airborne fighters and dollops of scorn for anyone who tries to take on the muscled 52-year-old.
Here’s the storyline. Shamsher Singh (Anil Kapoor), a fugitive from a village near Allahabad, has built an empire on an island called al-Shifa in the Middle East, bought by his elder brother for just such an eventuality.
Salman Khan is Sikander aka Sikku, Shamsher’s stepson, and runs his illegal arms business. Sanjana (Daisy Shah) and Suraj (Saqib Saleem) are Shamsher’s other children. There is intra-family rivalry for control of the businesses and assets.
Each family member has a quirk. Sanjana is a coolheaded MMA champ; Suraj is a shrill, screaming baddie who likes to break beer bottles on his own head. These two are trapped in the den of an adversary. Shamsher isn’t worried, because “Sikander tak message pahunch chukka hai”.
Sure enough, there soon ensues the killing of about 10 dozen weapons-wielding bodyguards, with a song thrown in for good measure. Suraj speaks for us all when he steps out into the carnage and goes, “What the hell, bro!” What the hell, indeed.
Before I forget, Salman isn’t just a brawny killer.
He’s Oxford-educated, in Race 3. He introduces himself thus: “My name is Sikander, Sikander Singh.” He’s James Bond, but with extra confidence.
The dialogue is hard to describe. Just when you thought nothing could surpass ‘My business is my business, none of your business,’ Daisy Shah proffers another gem: ‘Isko dil nahi, Dell khol ke dikhao (Don’t open up your heart, open your Dell laptop)’.
Race 3 is so painfully absurd, it makes you miss the days of Abbas-Mustan’s Race and Race 2.