Why is it still very hard for women to speak up?

The complainant in one of India’s most high profile sexual harassment cases is telling me about the price of speaking up. A hostile work environment, mental stress, failing health, long and costly litigation and, despite it all, loss of a job, says the woman researcher who filed a complaint against RK Pachauri in February 2015 when he was still boss at TERI.

“Even today I worry about entering an office room and am scared to open my email,” she says.

Three years later, trial is yet to begin. But, says the researcher, “Sexual harassment by powerful bosses continues because we have a culture that turns a blind eye to it.”

In all the thunder of a furious October, have we paused to think about the courage it takes to speak up? Courage in a climate in which the naysayers mutter about “false accusations” and “why she didn’t speak up earlier”, in which we shine the spotlight on victims rather than the accused and in which we speculate about ulterior motives.

We don’t see those sleepless, anxietyfilled nights, the waiting at the lawyer’s chamber to discuss criminal defamation notices received, the mortification of knowing that conversation at the office ceases as you approach because they’re gossiping about you.

Speaking up also means calling for evidence, which might not exist — how do you prove that a man stares at your breasts while talking to you or asked you to share his hotel room on an outstation assignment?

In the course of this past week, two more women have spoken about allegedly horrific episodes of the past. In The Indian Express, Anjuli Pundit has detailed her harassment over seven months in 2015 at the hands of her boss, Rakesh Sarna, MD and CEO of Taj Hotels, who resigned in September 2017. Even though, she says, she worked in a company that believes in “women’s rights”, it was Pundit who was shunted to a back office job when she complained, a move she sees as a “demotion”, while her boss stayed on, unscathed.

The second woman, Pallavi Gogoi, has written in The Washington Post a personal account that accuses her then boss, MJ Akbar, of rape over a period of time. An editor’s note clarifies that Akbar has, through his lawyer, stated that the allegations are “false and expressly denied”.

Why come out now? Tweets Gogoi: “Those before me have given me the courage to reach into the recesses of my mind and confront the monster that I escaped from decades ago.”

I ask the woman researcher what had prompted her to speak up in 2015. To seek closure, she says. “Many of us don’t realise how powerful our voices can be, how we can make a difference to not just our lives but to society.”

I apologise to her for dredging up what are undoubtedly traumatic memories and she replies: “You don’t. You remind me the worst is over and how I found myself again.” Many instances in our life may happen as per our wishes but some may happen which are undesirable. We tend to concentrate our attention on the negative happenings, instead of cherishing positive moments. Life is a balance of good and bad things, though for some it may be too good and for some, it may be too bad. Bad things may be temporary or permanent. For a blind person, it is permanent and for a person suffering from illness for a brief period of time, it is temporary.

However, most of us consider non-happening of good and desirable things as bad moments instead of enjoying other comforts bestowed by God. One of my colleagues will apply for transfer to his hometown every year and would yell the management for not fulfilling his request. More than that, he would abuse his present place of posting as if it is a place unfit for human beings. This is a dangerous scenario. The world belongs to Lord. We are His children.

When our desire matches with Lord’s desire, we get excited. On the other hand, when our desire is not the Lord’s desire, we should change our desire or wait patiently for the right time.