Honesty, even at the ‘maybe’ stage of a relationship, can only be a good thing

other person know. These things usually start with what can safely be called a crush, and I would describe it as such when I expressed myself to the other person. I went out with a few of the men I shared my feelings with. Some said that they did not feel the same way. Once the initial sting dissipated, I moved on.

This approach kept me from wasting time and energy. Most of my crushes did not go beyond three dates.

Had I not shared my feelings, I might have pined for who knows how long. This way, I found out what didn’t work, learnt things about myself and others, and moved on. No wasted energy; no months or years of whatifs. Instead, in a couple of benign dates,i realised that my feelings were fleeting or we didn’t have as much in common as I had thought. Most relationships get the depth of real connection only over time. So sharing how you feel with a person as early as possible helps. Any rejection you face, you get over fast,because you haven’t invested much yet; it’s still a hypothetical. A few failed dates don’t hurt too much, for the same reason, and can help you get clarity on what you seek in a relationship.

Most vitally, when you start out with honesty and clarity, you can proceed in the same vein. When I first met my husband, I knew in the first few interactions that he was the one. And I told him how I felt.

Now, married all these years, we continue to have an honest relationship, and I have the added advantage of no regrets. I invested fully in my marriage, with no distractions, and I believe that’s part of what keeps it super-strong.