The dark side of Indian marriages: Physical abuse

The latest National Family Health Survey threw up some worrying trends on domestic violence. Of the women respondents across 14 states and Union Territories, 30% justified being beaten by their husbands under “certain circumstances”. In Telangana, a staggering 84% of women felt it was all right to be beaten for minor misdemeanours. In Andhra Pradesh, it was 84%, Karnataka 77%, Kerala 52%, and West Bengal, 42%. The reasons for this intimate partner violence (IPV) ranged from showing disrespect to in-laws, arguing, suspicions of unfaithfulness, and not cooking well — just about any reason justified the man beating his wife. So why do women justify this pain and humiliation in such large numbers?

I spoke to Renuka Pamecha who founded Mahila Salah aur Suraksha Kendra which is attached to several police stations in Gandhinagar and across Rajasthan. From her experiences with victims, she says that they justify violence as they have no option.

Very few have economic independence or societal support (not even from their parents), and they are worried about their children’s fate if they file a complaint. “We need short stays homes and rehabilitation and skilling policies for women victims of IPV. I have seen how the police behave when women do pluck up the courage to come forward. They show little empathy. Instead, they tell women ‘your husband gave you a few slaps out of love, why make such a fuss?’ Pushpa Saini, whom we helped educate after she came to our centre at a police station, has left her abusive husband, got an LLB [law] degree and is living with her children on her own. But such cases are few and far between.”

Nayreen Daruwala runs the non-governmental organisation, Sneha, which works in the slums of Mumbai, including Dharavi, and deals with domestic violence. “Money is the main issue, women normalise violence because they have nowhere to go and they feel that as long as the husband provides for them, beatings are justified.”

The effects of violence are debilitating; they include depression, anxiety, inability to care for children, gynaecological and neurological problems. The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005 provides safeguards for women, but these can only kick in if women come forward — which most do not out of the fear of repercussions, loss of status and economic safety.

The police, health workers, and lower levels of the judiciary need to be sensitised to respond with empathy to abused women. There have to be community awareness programmes involving men, and more efforts made to convince women that it is best to ask for help as this is not a problem that can either be justified, or will go away if they keep quiet. “In areas where we operate, sustained community mobilisation has led to a decrease in violence and acceptance of violence as a norm. Collective action has produced positive results but we are still a very long way away from eradicating this evil,” says Nayreen.

Since this is considered a private issue, the State is chary of getting involved in any substantial way. But it is time to understand that this kind of violence is a human rights, public health and economic issue.

Women must have the confidence that if they seek help from the police or the community, they will get it and not be pushed back into an abusive situation where there will be more violence visited on them.

Centres like the ones run by Renuka Pamecha, attached to police stations, have worked to an extent in giving women a safe and empathetic space to come forward to report abuse. This model should be replicated on a larger scale across the country.

lalita.panicker@hindustantimes.com The views expressed are personal