Many Indian parents are choosing to not have kids. We speak to experts about the trend.
As more and more couples opt not to have children, we ask experts about the benefits and drawbacks of the decision
People want to be 100% secure financially before they have a baby. People’s social lives get affected as well. SHYAM MITHIYA, RELATIONSHIP EXPERT
American singer Kelly Clarkson was recently in the news for asking her husband to get a vasectomy after she got pregnant with her second child. “I was literally pregnant with Remi, and I was like, ‘You are getting fixed. This will never happen to me again’, (sic)” she was quoted as saying. Clarkson decided that she wouldn’t have any more babies after giving birth twice. Interestingly, with careers and lifestyles becoming a priority for a lot of people today, several young couples are increasingly deciding to remain childless.
In 2006, the Mumbai-based International Institute for Population Sciences found that 2.3% of the 1 lakh women interviewed for a family health survey in India did not have children, and did not plan on having them. While there isn’t much data on this trend since that time, experts say the number of couples who are opting not to have babies is on the rise.
LET’S AVOID THE KIDS
“There are many reasons for this,” says relationship expert Shyam Mithiya, citing the number of queries he receives from couples who don’t want to have children. “People want to be 100% secure financially before they have a baby. Women’s lives undergo a complete turnaround. They have to take a break from work for at least a year. Travel is also a factor. I have seen people who say that they won’t be able to travel freely with kids. People’s social lives get affected as well. Many women are conscious about their figures and worry about how their bodies will be affected by pregnancy,” Mithya says.
Insecurity about raising kids may be another reason. “Before going in for a kid, couples have doubts about being good parents, or if they will be able to fulfill their kids’ needs. People who are between 25 and 28, whose friends have not had kids yet believe their lives will change after having a child, or that they don’t want to be the first among their friends to have babies.”
OLD AGE MAY GET TOUGH
It is also important for people who go childless to remember that life may get difficult during their old age, as there won’t be anyone to take care of them. Vidya Bansode, clinical psychologist and relationship expert, says the need to not have kids can affect you psychologically and physically after a certain age. She says, “You may feel lonely or hopeless. You could miss the vigour or energy in your life, which comes with being around young people. You may face difficulties when you need physical assistance. Doing everything on your own could be painful, frustrating and saddening.”
However, Bansode says that couples who have no children should develop a strong support group and expand their goals towards social causes. “They should aim to be active and interact with people, and build a healthy support system so that their need for company is fulfilled,” she says.