‘Build the bridge slowly’

I like a friend, who was earlier my classmate. She shows interest in me sometimes. I want to confess to her that I like her. But, I am afraid of losing her. — Feared

According to yourself, she shows interest in you at certain times, let’s say between 2pm and 3pm. Other times, she shows no interest. Let’s say between 4.30pm and 5.30pm. Clearly you need to make your case between 2pm and 3pm then. Don’t confess anything to her. Just use the time that she’s more friendly to your advantage. When she shows interest, make the relationship grow. That’s the way to slowly and surely make romantic in roads.

I have a crush on a girl from my class. Two of my friends also have a crush on her. I don’t want to be in a relationship with her. I want to be her best friend, but a lot of things comes to my mind about her, especially when I study. How do I clear my mind of all these things? — Psy You want to eat your chocolate cake and lose weight at the same time. Do you want her in love or not? If you just want to be her friend, why did you write in? There are no long queues to be friends. It looks like you have fallen for her. You better move fast. You have two competitors, who might be taller than you, and worse, may wear better shoes. Don’t worry about her shyness. Figure out what you want. Move fast, or lose the belle of the ball.

I have feelings for my senior in college. He is in a relationship. We have even gone on two movie dates. During one of the outing, we got very close to each other. I think he too has feelings for me. When I confronted him about it, he asked me to forget him. He feels I’ll get hurt if I don’t. Do you think he loves me or has feelings for me?

— Ms Anonymous How senior is he to you? I hope not 25 years. Oh no, that’s the wife of the new French President. It looks like he is at least, mildly interested. Why no third movie date? Well, there could be all kinds of factors, including the fact that the last movie you both watched was absolutely awful. But, what I can’t fathom is why do you have to confront people about their love position, in such a hurry? I think he has feelings for you, but you scared him off by rushing him. Back off a bit. Tell him to go back to casual dates, and build the bridge slowly. And, please choose a good movie next time.

I broke up with my ex because he was a pervert. My new boyfriend loves me and is very possessive about me. I am unable to tell him that I had kissed my ex because he would get hurt. I want to be truthful to him about my past. How do I tell him the truth to him without hurting him? — CV In my book, Truth Is The Biggest Lie, I’ve answered your query beautifully. But, please don’t read the sequel, Lies Are Sometimes Lies. That may confuse you. If you feel your ex was a pervert, and you can’t respect him, there really is no future there. We are allowed three mistakes in our life. Mine are all dietary ones. You can check with Chetan Bhagat, who from all accounts, invented life itself. Stop these filmy revelations at once. Enjoy your new boyfriend, who at this stage, is not yet a pervert. And please stay away from your not so golden oldie, okay?