‘Explain how strong your love is’
Me and my boyfriend are of the same religion. My parents don’t want me to marry him because he is north Indian. They are worried about the reaction of people. Everyone in my family knows about my relationship but no one is supportive. My guy wants me to go against my parents. But, I want my parents to be with me. Please help.
— NA
The poet Margo Stay explained your issue in his book, Birds and Public Toilets, which is about why birds in Albania don’t like making nests in public toilets. Margo illustrated that people, birds, toilets can’t get along over a long period of time because of differences. Your parents have found geographic reasons to stall your relationship. I’ve heard worse –– like this couple whose parents opposed their union because they came from different buildings. Give yourself six months to get them to come around. Talk to them separately. Explain how strong your love is. How nice the guy is. If you and your boyfriend are backing each other, nothing can stop you. Not even birds in public toilets.
with three children. She says she loves both her husband and me and wants to continue with this arrangement. What should I do? — SSF
Having two lovers is okay with her. Since its not okay with you, you have three choices –– (a) take another lover, (b) take another two lovers, and (c) abandon ship, and instead take up something like hot yoga to help get over her. She may not want to give up her marriage for you. But, you need to ask yourself only two questions. Do men look good in earrings? What do you really want? She seems content. If you want exclusivity, you may need to find another partner.
The girl that I love doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. She wants to continue being friends. How can I find out if she loves me? — KS
There’s a test performed by an early Mongolian Scribe, Tershunajin. He would find out if a woman loved him by leaving his shoelaces open. If she loved him, she would tie the shoelaces herself. However, since Tershunajin owned the only pair of shoes in Mongolia, he got robbed of his shoes, shoelaces and couldn’t complete his experiments. Frankly, all you have to do is refuse the friend status. See her response. Stand your ground bro. Why get demoted? You’ll always resent her if you accept a friend status.
A school friend proposed to me twice. I said no. I like him, but I can’t trust him. Now, he’s gone abroad for work and I am feeling restless. Should I accept his proposal? I don’t know if I can handle long distance relationships. Also, he says he can marry after only four years. Please help. — IS
First please ask him to convey all his terms and conditions –– when’ll he marry, what colour curtains and toilet seat up or down. If you ask me, and apparently you’ve asked me, I think you both need more clarity and a lot more spontaneity. Clearly, you are interested in him or you wouldn’t be writing to me. Why can’t you live for the moment instead of planning the futures with cut off dates. I say date him without any strings attached and commitments to later dates. Give it a chance. By the way, what’s with the four year cycle? Does he want a marriage or the Olympics?