Experts tell us what does or doesn’t count as sexual harassment.
As sexual harassment cases make global headlines on an everyday basis, we try to get answers about this form of exploitation
About a month back it was Harvey Weinstein, then Kevin Spacey and Brett Ratner. And now it’s Dustin Hoffman, who has been in the news because of sexual harassment allegations. Within a span of a few days, Hollywood has been rattled with back-to-back sexual harassment cases. Sexual harassment is not something that happens only among the high-fliers or A-listers in India or abroad. News outlets report about such cases almost on a daily basis. But, what mostly goes unreported is the trauma, someti mes lifelong, that victims of sexual harassment face. IDENTIFY IT Sexual harassment is so widespread that sometimes victims aren’t even aware tha a it’s happening to them. As a first step, it’s imperative that people identify the problem. Kavita Mungi, mental health counsellor, says, “Sexual harassment happens when you are faced with unwanted sexual advances, which may be verbal or physical in nature, bullying or coercion, stalking and requests for sexual favours with promises of rewards in return. This could happen at the workplace, schools, and hospitals or in any social situation. And, it is not that only women are harassed. It could be any gender.” Ignorance also plays an important role in the reason why many forms of sexual harassment are not taken seriously. Adds Mungi , “Unfortunately, in India, there is lack of knowledge to the degree that whistling, catcalls, stalking and other such conduct is not even considered by many as sexual harassment.” At times, people may experience sexual harassment of a different kind. For example, you may be good friends with a person and he inadvertently touches you inappropriately. In such a situation, it becomes difficult for a person to address this issue because of the fact that it may affect the friendship. So, how do you deal with it? Neeta V Shetty, psychotherapist and life coach, says, “One should always try and maintain space from a person you are not comfortable with, especially if he or she touches you. If it’s a friend, just move away a little bit showing subtle signs that you are uncomfortable in that situation. You can narrate examples of situations to your friend where others’ behaviour has made you uncomfortable. If things still do not work out, you can express your discomfort to them without being rude or insulting. Putting across your thoughts may help your friendship in the long run rather than affecting it.” LASTING FOREVER In most cases, though people may not face sexual harassment throughout their lives, it’s effects can last forever and haunt you all your lives. Shetty spells out some of the issues. She says, “People who have faced sexual harassment face lifelong traumatic stress. They may feel angry and irritable. They may withdraw from social situations thereby leading to loneliness and depression. At times, victims may suffer from low self-esteem and low selfconfidence because they can’t handle a situation. Self-blame and guilt can also set in leading to self-harm in extreme cases. There may be sexual problems as well.”
It’s very important that a person who faces sexual harassment addresses the issue or rather takes help. Mungi says, “It is essential that you speak up when faced with any kind of unwanted conduct. If it happens at the workplace, seek help from supportive friends and colleagues after explaining the situation. It is best you confide in your family too. You must always remain strong and know your rights.Keep a record of the instances, emails, text messages or any evidence of the same that could be of use as evidence in the future. If there are any witnesses, make a list and ask them to speak up for you.” Finally, if everything else fails, your last resort could be lodging a police complaint.