LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
That’s the mantra actor Rubina Dilaik shares this Valentine’s Day as she talks about secrets to a lasting relationship
Actors Rubina Dilaik and Abhinav Shukla have been dating for more than three years, but the actor claims she hasn’t let “boredom” creep into their relationship. Talking about keeping romance alive, Rubina says, “From dressing up even for casual dates to planning surprises often and staying in a good shape — I treat myself like I used to when we started dating. I still have same enthusiasm and passion for Abhinav like I did when we started dating. The mantra is to treat every day in your relationship like it’s the first day, and it will prosper. A relationship can’t be on autopilot; it needs constant attention. Think of a relationship as a plant: you need to nurture it, water it and take care of it every day for it to grow into a tree. Every relationship requires effort, and if you don’t put in the effort, it will stagnate.”
The actor feels that the secret to a long, fulfilling relationship is working on your happiness first. “I believe that if you know the art of keeping yourself happy, then can you be happy in a relationship. Look at it this way, if your glass is full, only then can you share it with others. But if your glass is empty, then you just expect others to share. In my past relationship, I learnt that unless you learn how to make yourself a priority, you can’t be happy or make your partner happy. Otherwise, you will always expect your partner to look after you and fulfil your expectations, which leads to a burdened relationship,” she says.
Rubina adds that psychologically, women and men are wired differently. “Women are wired in a way that links their happiness with whatever is happening in their lives. On the other hand, men can compartmentalise their thoughts. They can deal with their work and relationship separately. If women are happy with their relationship, it will reflect in their work and vice versa.”
Rubina emphasises that women need to learn to spend time on themselves and prioritise their happiness. “They have to know and learn themselves. Only then can they love their partner and expect love in life,” she says.
I believe that if you know the art of keeping yourself happy, then can you be happy in a relationship. If your glass is full, only then can you share it with others. RUBINA DILAIK, ACTOR